A Father’s Regrets!
It is midnight and the beginning of Father’s Day. I am 55 years old and all my children are now grown and doing well, but as I look back I can’t help but think about so many areas I could have did better. Oh, I’m not thinking I was a bad father, but I also know I was not a perfect father either and I fully realize that I made mistakes and decisions that if I could I would change them now. I am writting this post because even though I can’t change the past I want my children and grandchildren to know what I would have changed so that maybe they can at least have the benefit of my regrets.
So, here I go with some of my regrets:
- I would have made sure each child was given special attention from me. Having five kids made it too easy to just treat them all as a group rather then as individuals. I think I could have spent more time with each of them as individuals making sure they each felt special.
- I would have worked less hours and went to more of their school and sports events. Oh, I went to some mainly because my sweet wife Nancy dragged me there, but working a lot of hours made it just too easy to not go. This is a tough one because all Fathers and Mothers have to balance this area very carefully as they feed and clothe their children. I just think looking back I could have balanced it better.
- I would have spent more time making sure their education was a priority. Nancy was 17 and I was 18 when we got married, and we had four kids by the time we were twenty-four. Being that young is not an excuse but I do think looking back we just didn’t push homework and education as much as we could have. Thankfully, they have all done well, but in todays world education is more important then ever.
- I would have been more patient. I can remember saying things in anger because I simply wasn’t patient enough in allowing my children to make mistakes. I do remember apologizing when I would lose my temper, but lookning back I wish I had just been more patient.
- And last, I wish I had never blamed any of my kids for stealing my pens. Every time one of my pens came up missing from my office I was way too quick to blame my kids. If I had it to do over again I would have just bought more pens.
Now I’m sure there are many more things I could could apologize for but it will just have to wait until next year on Fathers Day. Until that time I hope my grown children and grandchildren will learn from my regrets. I would also like to leave them with one of mine and Nancy’s favorite scriptures.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
So, even though I am willing to admit imperfection as a father, one thing I know is that I LOVED MY KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART, and love covers a whole lot of regrets
Dear Cliff and brothers,
Our failures as Fathers are thankfully used by God to lead them to our Perfect Fathers love just as our successes are used to create in them the knowledge of a safe and loving father. I write this from KC Mo. where I am leaving for worship with a large group of believers in ultimate reconciliation at the Restoration Nation Conference. This is my Father’s day treat to myself and I am feasting at the table of bold grace.
Blessings to all of you
Pastor Don in AZ
Don, may your cup run over.
Don, I only wish I could be with you brother. Have a great time.
I can’t help but wonder why my dad is feeling this way. Most of the time you can look at an adult and who they have become is a reflection on how and who they where raised by. I know my sister’s are quit as smart as me (ha ha), but we all did well in school and haven’t got to where we are from having a poor education or parents that didn’t make it a priority. I’m not so sure that my work ethic would be what it is today if my parents did not lay a great foundation and give a great example. Unfortunately our economy did not allow people to work fewer hours and to this day it is still a problem for a lot of parents. Back then either one person worked a bunch of hours or both parents work like today. If I could go back in time and change how my parents raised me or my sisters, I’m not sure I would change one thing. I believe that if anything was to be changed it might alter where we are all today.
P.S. as far as the pens go, I’m sure it was my sisters.
Thanks for your kind words my son. You are a son that every Dad dreams of.