Schools of scholars offer critiques of the Gospels. Some read the Gospels as a dialogue (or diatribe) between competing communities of Jesus’ followers. Others suggest that they contain latent (if not blatant) anti-Jewish sentiment. I understand these assessments; however, it seems to me that there other readings of the Gospels provide a broader comment on humanity.
One incident in particular resonates deep within my heart. Jesus provides sight to a man who had been born blind. As he approaches the man, Jesus’ disciples ask a revealing question. "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind." Sadly, instead of seeing a man longing for vision, the disciples sought to assign blame for his condition. Rather than feeling human compassion, they saw opportunity for a theological debate — thereby displaying their own myopia.
Jesus refuted their agenda and proceeded to open the man’s eyes. Quickly, word of the amazing wonder reached the proper religious authorities. Instead of celebrating, the elites raged, ostensibly because this work occurred on a sacred day of rest. Craving to discover the identity of the healer, they hauled the man before a board of inquiry. When his answers refused to satisfy them, they subpoenaed his parents.
His mother and father assured the powers-that-be that this was their son and that indeed he had been born blind. However, they asserted to the inquisitors that they did not know the identity of the healer. The narrative tells us that they answered in this way because they feared that they would be shunned by their community.
We might be tempted to bypass the parents quickly. They seem to play a small part in the story — and a part that is less than admirable. We might be eager to proceed to the end of the tale to find the formerly-blind man turning the tables on his questioners. This one lowly individual stands against the establishment and jolts them with questions and maybe even a bit of sarcasm.
If we pay any attention to the parents, it might involve a stern scolding. How dare they hide cowardly in the shadows instead of standing up for their son and his healer? We might judge them timid, weak, and faithless. Have they no appreciation? They should be strong as they face the loss of friendships, dedicated enough to undergo exclusion, proud to suffer unjustly.
However, this approach resembles the disciples. More than just a theological treatise, this is a human story. And on a human level, I’m struck by the parents as humble people feeling a powerful emotion motivating them to evade the interrogation. Fear. They knew that any association with a renegade would cause them to be seen as sharing in the guilt of his crimes. Although they celebrated the godsend for their son, they still had to live with their family, friends, and neighbors. Could they risk alienating themselves from everyone for the rest of their lives?
Before judging them contemptible, imagine the lifelong relationships they held. Consider the possible back-story of their lives. Sense the palpable anxiety they felt as they sought to answer truthfully-yet-securely. When I envision the scene, I feel deep sympathy for them both.
I know the angst of the impossible pressure of living according to the standards of others. When I came to an uncommon understanding of the Bible, God, and humanity, I bore the heaviness of worry. What will my friends, family, and fellowship think? Will they still accept me? What will happen when they don’t? I don’t want to travel this path alone, but I can’t continue in the way I’ve always gone.
Perhaps you’ve had a similar experience — if not in your spirituality, perhaps in another facet of your life. If you didn’t measure up you’d incur the wrath of parents, the confusion of in-laws, the irritation of neighbors, the exasperation of co-workers, or the censure of a spiritual community. If you hold to a different political opinion, approach to family life, view of the origins of humanity, attitude toward human sexuality, sense of fashion, or understanding of God then you may risk estranging yourself from the people you love most.
I feel sorry for the parents of the formerly-blind man because they found themselves living at the mercy of the opinions of others — not just in this once incident, but most likely throughout their years. Over a lifetime, they sacrificed their own integrity to the god of people’s perceptions. Always wondering what their neighbors, friends, and family thought, they lived with disquiet harassing their spirit. And that is no life at all.
It would be easy to blame them for their own plight. We might assume that they should have been stronger. Damn the opinions of others! Full steam ahead!
However, chiding them as cravenly feeble ignores the possibility that they couldn’t act in any other way. Fear had burrowed its way into their hearts because no one had offered them alternatives. No one had confirmed to them that their uniqueness mattered. No one had served in the capacity of what psychologist Alice Miller calls an enlightened witness.
An enlightened witness is a person who assures others that they have options, that they don’t have to go along with the crowd, and that holding to their own values and ideas is more important than succumbing to peer pressure. An enlightened witness serves others by validating the principle that you affirm your own humanity by holding to your integrity.
In the opening paragraphs of Walden, Henry David Thoreau asserted his integrity by describing "my mode of life, which some would call impertinent, though they do not appear to me at all impertinent, but considering the circumstances, very natural and pertinent."
If you feel sorely torn between holding to your individuality and conforming to a prefabricated identity forged by the arbitrary wishes of someone else, listen to the small still voice whispering to you, "Be true to yourself." That voice is the sound of God directing you to hold fast to what resides at the core of your being — Love. Know that someone who truly loves you wants you to be no one but yourself. Understand that God loves you because God is Love.
As you establish confidence in holding to your integrity, begin the practice of enlightened witnessing. Open space to others so that they know in their hearts that their integrity trumps groupthink.
Even though retaining integrity may result in exclusion from certain relationships (you can’t control how others will respond to your integrity), it provides freedom from the hellish prison of the fear of the inability to please others, the torture of the thought police, and the inner anguish of a divided self.
Begin to embrace your mode of life, which some would call impertinent, though they do not appear to you at all impertinent, but considering the circumstances, very natural and pertinent.
Written by Kevin Beck You can read more of Kevin Here!
