Right or Wrong
I had a discussion this weekend about right and wrong choices or decisions. I told my wife that I no longer make decisions based on right or wrong but that my decisions are based on what is beneficial for me, or my loved ones based on my current knowledge of the subject at the time. Right or Wrong based decisions can cause us to delay or postpone decisions that need to be made. Not only that but when a decision is made based on “right or wrong” and that decision turns out to be ”WRONG” it causes us to become fearful and doubtful of our next decision. Then if that next decision over time proves to be the “wrong” one we lose more confidence and a downward spiral begins to develop until we have no confidence at all in our decisions and choices. But if we base our decisions on what is beneficial or not to us, then if that decision turns out to not be beneficial to us we can change our decision to one that is beneficial based on the gained current knowledge. My wife insist that it is just semantics but I think it is so much more than that. Basing decisions on what is Right or Wrong is a product of eating from the Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil. And it paralyzes the mind and spirit of mankind. My hope for you is that you would begin to base your decisions in life on what is beneficial and no longer on Right or Wrong. I leave you with the words of the Apostle Paul, “Everything is permissible for me —but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything”
Selah
Geo
Geo- This is one of your best posts that I’ve seen in a while. Bravo!! Well said…..
When you say to make a decision based on what is “beneficial”, what you are saying is that it comes from the heart, from the soul of you; that part of you that is timeless, eternal.
Don,
This view came out of me during that discussion with my wife. I had never before the time I said it to her realized that it was so! As I said it I realized that a threshold in my life had occurred. It was truly for me a “EUREKA” moment.
Peace
Geo
I second guess myself all of the time and before I know it I have become insecure about everything I do or say. I am learning that I would rather just make my decision based on that very moment and then feel confident with my decision or suffer my own consequences after and learn and move on, but I don’t want to hesitate for fear of being right or wrong. The only person that can reject me is myself. This is tough for me, but I am gaining more trust in myself.
I like this post Geo!
Geo, It could be a wrong decision for me to agree with you but I know it is certainly benificial and since I don’t give a rats ass whether it’s wrong or right I will simply choose to agree based on the knowledge I have at this time. All kidding aside, this is a great post. Love Ya Geo.
Geo, I know what your wife means about semantics but at the same time much of the difference between the gospel of grace and peace and what the organized church teaches comes down to how we see the meaning of the same words. Take the word “Gospel”. We see it as “Good News” period. They see it as “Good News” plus “Bad News”. We no longer see a score card with grades based on right and wrong. They live their entire lives worried if they will be found “FAITHFUL”, which is another way of saying RIGHT WITH GOD. I happen to agree with the apostle Paul on this and I love the scripture you quoted…..“Everything is permissible for me —but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything”
Good Post Geo.
Mindy,
You are doing fine just where you are! And your decisions are perfect. We make them based on our current knowledge and if that knowledge is no longer current then we are free to make a different decision based on the then current knowledge.
Cliff,
Rat’s Ass! hahahahaha! I love that!
Instead of the word beneficial how about profitable or unprofitable? Any thing but right or wrong!
You know I have never heard a preacher preach on the completion of that verse. Oh wait that is exactly what Glenn and Mike did on the last show when they told the young man to continue if he felt like it to attend the Mormon Church and to continue with the porno, but to always remember even in the process of looking at the porn and masturbation to know he was, is and continues to be forever righteous and holy and connected to God! Now that is a message which if continued to be exposed to will eventually lead us to make more profitable and beneficial decisions.
Peace
Geo
I agree with your wife, Geo! Seems like semantics to me. You’ve just substituted the word “beneficial” for the word “right.” In either case, whether you use the word “right” or “beneficial”, you can make the choice to change direction at a later time if new information arises that makes it clear your first decision was “not beneficial” or “wrong.” It seems that the important thing is in realizing that there are always options, that it’s not the end of the world if we make a decision that turns out later not to have been the best one.
Your thoughts do not come down to just semantics. There is a huge difference between right/wrong and beneficial/not. Right and wrong is subjective, but the benefit of something as it pertains to yourself is quite objective, though perhaps, at times, hidden. Stealing something is seen as morally wrong, but if it is beneficial to you, then perhaps you should do it. Of course, if you get caught, that is not beneficial, so there are some hidden elements to stealing. That’s why I would add that in addition to being beneficial to yourself, decisions should avoid direct harm to another. “Direct” harm is the key. You may make a decision that someone else disagrees with and they may feel harmed by that, but they feel harm because they want to, not because of what you did. So while killing someone (or stealing, in most cases) causes direct harm and should be avoided, believing, say, that there is no God only causes harm to those who want to be harmed. This is my new philosophy for living life. As someone who perhaps doesn’t believe in God, people will ask me what the point of life is. The point is to enjoy it! This, of course, brings up the question, shouldn’t decisions also be based on helping others? Only if it is beneficial to you, or in a less selfish way of putting it, only if it makes you happy. You are under no obligation to feed the homeless, though I believe if you DO feed the homeless, you will find that it brings you happiness. I think life becomes all the more simpler when you stop worrying about right and wrong and just do what makes you happy while doing no harm. It’s probably not as simple as it sounds, but it’s a hell of a lot simpler than trying to agree with 6 billion others on what is morally right and wrong.
Wow! This post really spoke to me. After leaving a really bad relationship last year, I struggle to regain confidence in my decision making. You know how people will try to use bad decisions you’ve previously made against you.
Speaking of this topic, not too long ago I read a weekly magazine article from a very well known evangelist. He basically said that the gospel was all about getting it right in this lifetime. I found that quite sad. How can any of us really be sure we have it “all right”? That’s NOT good news at all. The gospel is about trusting the One who already got it right for us, not us getting it right.
Kiara brings up a good point. Rather than looking back at something as a “bad” decision, it is less crippling to look at it as a “good” learning experience. That is the way I have taught my children to view their lives, and it is rewarding to see how freeing it is for them (as well as for me). As Kiara said, there are people who will try to use what they see as your “bad” decisions against you. I simply choose not to have them be a part of my life, if at all possible. Don’t need that kind of negativity clouding my view.
Most of the decisions I’ve made in my life that would have been considered “morally wrong” by the majority of people, have turned out to be my most valuable life lessons.
So, I agree that it really is a waste of time to try to determine right vs. wrong. The “right” thing to do today is often the “wrong” thing to do tomorrow. Even what is beneficial is not constant. A warm coat is beneficial in a snow storm, but it won’t do you a lot of good when you’re in the desert, and what you really need is an air conditioner.
Sorry, I’m rambling……
If we see life as a perfect process in which every single moment is teaching us what we need to learn then right or wrong has nothing to do with it. We will learn regardless of what choice we make today. On the other hand if you are still eating of that horrible tree that God said not to eat from then you will be caught up in a constant battle of good and evil. I really prefer the fruit from the tree of a PERFECT life.
Knowing that nothing is counted against me has made me feel much more confident in making wise choices instead of worrying if i am making the wrong choice or what the consequences may be. I was afraid of how i was going to raise my son all by myself. Now i am not afraid of the truth any longer no matter what the topic is!
I have a question that’s been confusing me. A lot of ppl say that God poured out all of His wrath at the cross. If that’s true how come Paul tells believers in Romans and 1 Cor that we will all stand at the judgment seat of Christ? Do we ever get “punished” for any of our sins? Does the judgment that Paul was talking about happen now and not just after we die? I know love keeps no record of wrongs so I’m trying to put all this together. Thanks.
Kiara, Please check out the following post that may answer this question for you. http://boldgrace.com/2007/09/14/are-we-accountable/
I came across this verse while working on an essay about an entirely different subject…
For we see now through a dim window obscurely, but then face to face; now I know partially, but then I shall know according as I also have been known. (1 Corinthians 13:12, Darby Translation)
The Message puts it this way…
We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
Hello All
Not sure if this has been posted or if it anyone knows it, but I find it is very useful.
“Its not whether its right or wrong, but is it Wise.”
Thanks for the link Cliff.
I get what you’re saying. Most of us have been taught all our lives that God’s love and wrath are somehow separate. I remember hearing from many preachers “Yeah God is a God of love but He is also a God of judgment.” So I guess that means when God is just He is unloving and when He is loving He is unjust? I don’t buy that. God does not have multiple personalities and He’s the same forever. I’m working on trying to see the “judgment” verses in light of His love instead of the other way around like I’ve been used to doing for so long.
Back to this topic,I’ve been a bit down going to church for the last two weeks. why does modern Christianity as a whole seem to fear doubt and uncertainty at times. The sermoms have been basically how Christians shouldn’t have uncertainties and that if we really have the Holy Spirit the Bible will make sense. Well, if everything was so clear cut, why are there over 30,000 different interpretations? I don’t have the “answers” like I used to think I did but strangely I feel more at peace in my uncertainty than I did in my former evangelical upbringing.
Btw, John T, that’s a great quote.