Peel Away Your Layers
It use to be really hard searching for myself and then accepting myself. Actually, it had been exhausting. I felt like I was constantly peeling away layers of myself only to find that there was another layer to work through.
You see, I was raised in religion. I was taught by a few different organized religions to ask for forgiveness and that in order to be accepted by Jesus I had to accept him by getting baptized or get saved. I was taught to accept the people in Church and be fearful of everyone else. I was taught that it was inappropriate to dance in Church. I was taught to only sing accapella. I was taught that it was wrong to get up and sing accapella with my sisters in front of the congregation. I was taught that as a woman I had no voice amongst men. I was taught that God is good, but that I was just a sinner and didn’t deserve God’s unconditional love. I was taught fear and as a child these teachings are and were very devastating.
So, like many of you I have to peel away layer after layer in order to find the person that God meant for me to be. I am still peeling away layers, BUT NOW instead of feeling guilty and exhausted over peeling away layers or searching for myself and my truths I am flying. I am soaring high. I am stronger. Now each time I peel away a layer I realize that I have the tools. I have what it takes to understand each layer. No one else has to understand them.
I don’t get so panicked about my experiences or what and who I might find along my journey. I am not concerned as much about this world or my life. My earthly burdens are just that…earthly, but they are mine. I will have tribulations and joy but those tribulations and joys are just more opportunities for me to fly. I don’t have to even talk to God to be close to him. He is in me. I hear him when my daughter laughs. I hear him when I kiss my husband.
Now, I praise and worship the sun without fear of persecution. I praise the blue skies. I 
praise the wind and the rain. My eyes are more open then they have ever been and my mind isn’t closed anymore. I see the real illusions now. I see people who are clueless to the beauty and perfection behind “mistakes” or “sins”. I see opportunity for growth in what others considered mistakes. I see ME! I see a 33 year old “little girl” dancing under a disco ball. Her hands are up high and she is swaying back and forth looking up at the beautiful colors then gently closing her eyes so that she can absorb all of the wonderful feelings and then she sings with the band like there is no tomorrow.
I can’t wait to peel away another layer.
I love it — thank you! And the color is perfect for you.
Mindy
Very nice.. and by the way all I’ve ever seen from the day you were born was a beautifull “sweet little girl”, so you keep on peelin and keep on dancin..
Doug you have played a wonderful part in my life. I thank you for that!
Proud does not begin to say what I feel about you. You are my daughter, my friend, my counselor, and a wise adviser beyond your years. I do believe you are an old soul.
Thank You Mindy
That was beautiful and so very encouraging for me
Even though I have had absolutely nothing to do with your growth and development, I want you to know that I’m proud of you, Mindy! You sound like a delight to know! I can relate to much of what you say. I am learning to suspend judgment about situations that arise in life, because I have found that some of the most traumatic events bring forth the most beautiful consequences. I am learning to trust that God will really work it all out for my good, and finding that he absolutely does!
That was beautiful Mindy. I’m still peeling away my own layers myself as well.
It’s funny, the more layers I peel off, and the closer I get to my true self… the better I like myself.
But, the peeling can’t begin until we feel secure enough to do so. And I don’t mean the flimsy, plastic smile, warm & fuzzy kind of security organized religion panders… I mean a security so real that it causes us to crumble… turned into helpless, blithering, nobodies… who have nothing left to loose, and everything to gain by giving it all up… and giving in to the spirit inside of us. He is the only thing that is real, and a piece of Him is inside us all, patiently waiting for the layers of nonsense that we’ve been hiding behind to fall off, revealing the Glory deep inside.
The Glory is there, if we will only stop pretending it isn’t, we will all know from whom we came, and to whom we are connected.
Bruce,
You are correct in saying that we have to feel secure enough to peel away! It has to be real
Love ya Bruce!
I remember back to the times I was immersed in organized religion thinking that I was gaining my freedom from all the bad stuff in my life… I was shedding all the baggage that had been dragging me down, holding me back from experiencing all that God had for me… it was preached that I had to work on peeling those layers from my life so that I could be “right” with God… huh?
First off, I was already right with God (all I had to do was understand the revelation of the Cross), and while I thought I was shedding unwanted baggage, I was actually picking up more (religion) than I was dropping. The burden became overwhelming.
Problem is, the more questions I asked about “relationship with God” the more they pointed fingers at me and questioned my faithfulness! Religion became toxic to me, and drove me into a deep, but secret, depression. I had to get out, and I can’t imagine ever going back.
But, to those who read the comments here who participate in organized religion, I wish you the best. I hope it brings you to a similar point in your life. I’m glad it broke me down, because I don’t think I could have ever found the freedom to experience God more fully if I wouldn’t have found it necessary to flee from the institutions of religious experts (churches).
Good, good luck to all. May you find it.
Mindy-
Isn’t it great to just be free? I feel free in a spiritual way. But physically and emotionally I get trapped at times. I think I might be going through some postpartum issues still, but when I stop and smell the roses it brings me closer to God and I feel his comfort.
Mindy,
It has been a while since I posted anything anywere. I haven’t written on my blog since last November. I have undergone a radical sift in my views so I have been very quiet as I feel like I have so much to learn.
This was an awesome post. You seem to be awakening to a truth that that is very hard for many to see. It is awesome to see someone coming awake, coming to life. There IS more to living than just being alive.
The freedom that you are awakening to was there all along. “Judgment”, “grace” and “forgivenss” are only concepts that religion has created. Even seeing Jesus as a forgiver and a grace enabler for ALL, are at best religous concepts that are earthly, and in relation, they are only concepts that come out of the separation that our egos have created between who we really are and this game of earthly form. A separation that came when humanity came to the belif that the “knowledge” of good and evil was the truth rather than Life itself.
You are right, if you know what to look for, God is in EVRYTHING and EVERYONE, all has its source of being from the same place and all will return to that source as it fades away.
I was wondering if you have read the book “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle?
PJ
Hopfully my “comming out of silence” hasn’t ruffled too many feathers
Geez, PJ. I was wondering what you’ve been up to. Thanks for the update. I don’t think you can ruffle any feathers around here (unless you intend to heap guilt, fear, doubt, and shame on someone!)
I haven’t read Tolle, but I’d like to. I keep hoping I’ll see it on CD somewhere cheap! Hey, my birthday is in August… any takers? I hear he puts some good ideas forward… well worth considering.
Geo…I have the MP3s of the book on CD, what’s your address? You can email me privately…I could also upload the mp3 some way if you have that possibility. This book has really changed the way I look at God. This an other things
PJ,
Thank you:) You are soo right about an awakening. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. I guess I feel fortunate to have finally acknowledged what had always been there and this feels really good. My relationships with people that are close to me are more real if that makes any sense and life just seems a bit more easier. I have been able to give more of me to others and I get soo much in return. I see the beauty in people that I don’t think I had seen before. It was as if I had resentment for something and I didn’t know what it was, but once I found my true self I found it in others as well. What a gift to receive.
You are right when you say that this is a game of earthly form and PJ I am just relieved to have better skills now. I do feel like I am growing. The colors are brighter now
I have not read that book, but I will….try