BoldGrace

Relationship Tight Rope!

I have taught all my grandkids that there is one important thing to remember as they travel this journey we call life and that is "LOVE TO LEARN, LEARN TO LOVE". 

Now if we choose to really do that we will always be walking a tight rope with every relationship we encounter.  Every person we meet or come into contact with is important because we have an eternal connection with each and every one of them.  As we walk with them we will always be challenged to love them.  This is true with our closest relationships as well as those that are more distant.  How many times have we seen families broken up because the tight rope got to tough and someone chose to just jump off?  If loving those who are closest to us is difficult then it’s easy to see why those that are more distant have problems.

As the statement says above we must all be willing to learn how to love.  As we have looked at the past posts with all the bickering back and forth it became quite apparent to me that our failure was not love, but rather a difference of opinion on what loving each other means. 

This may sound strange (as much as Jack has attacked me) but I really do think in his own way he loves me.  Each of us decide what we think it means to love someone and Jack has decided that correcting others to his way of thinking is showing love. 

I have spent the better part of my adult life learning what love really means and then trying to apply it in all my relationships.  Because every relationship is different there can never be one particular formula that works.  As I have walked with my wife over the past 40 years I have learned how to love her.  I think she would tell you that I have improved a great deal since we were young teenagers.  I also have four grown adult children who have mates and each and every one of them I have learned to approach differently as I apply my knowledge of love. 

I think you see the analogy of walking a tight rope with every relationship because every single one takes focus to stay on the right course.  I can offer my advice as to what has worked best for me with different people but ultimately we must each find our own way as we strive to be creatures of love in a very difficult world.

In all my searching and tying to understand I still have never found any better advice on this then what Paul gave us:

1 Cor 13:4-8 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end.

Certainly Christ showed us true love by deciding to love us even as we reject him and I think we are at our best on the relationship tight rope when we do the same thing.  Paul also tells us "to be at peace with all men as much as what lies in you."  In other words it’s not always easy to be a peace with someone who would rather fight.  An old black preacher friend of my once said to me, "Brother Hazelbaker, you want to be at peace with all men but sometimes the only way to be at peace is to be at peace without them." 

So, what is my advice to all of you?  Don’t jump off the tight rope just because things get tough.  Keep following the ways of love to the best of your ability.  Be as kind as you can be and be respectful even if you are not shown respect.  If someone in your circle of relationships continues to attack you then let the ugliness be on their part, not yours.  Stand your ground but let that ground be the foundation of love.

When you fail at being the person of love that you want to be don’t give up.  That’s why we are here, to learn to love and to love to learn.  I have failed many times in the past and often look back at certain relationships and wish I could have changed something, but what I can do is learn from those mistakes and apply the lessons that life teaches me about love and use them for the future.

I thank each and everyone of you for the wisdom and love you bring to this site.  Even when I don’t agree I always consider where you are coming from and I know that you, just like me are trying to find your way in this journey of LIFE. 

Peace to All,

Cliff