BoldGrace

Peace - That is what I am experiencing. I have so many stories about Cliff locked inside but Cliff was my writer and I don’t know how to put them into words like he did. I can only tell you that he was preparing all of us for his leaving. I always said that there was no Nancy without Cliff and he would say back that there was no Cliff without Nancy. I am not alone because Cliff is still here. I feel him and see him when I look around. I see him through others and in every sparrow, in every sound, in my dogs, my children, my friends, I still hear him breath when the wind blows, I feel him touch my cheek and I could go on and on and on. I read all of the things that everyone writes, and I hear all the things that everyone says about my precious Cliff. We were blessed to know this angel but I was the girl at 15 that God sent this perfect gift to. Cliff worked our whole life together to teach me that I am perfect because I didn’t believe that I was a good person and it took him forever for me to get it. He finished that job so it was time for him to take another journey and I know that God has the perfect job for him! I don’t know what it is or who it might be that Gods sends him to but I do know that he will send him or already has sent him back to teach someone else that Love never fails and that they also are perfect. Our lives will never be the same but he made us better people because we were blessed to have known him. Thank you all so much! Nancy

This past year I had the privelage of meeting and gaining a very special friend named Cliff. He worked in the same department as me and no matter how hectic our days got, he ALWAYS had a smile on his face and a kind word to offer. He was always the person to encourage us at the beginnig of our shift to make the best out of the day (when most of us just wanted to go home and crawl back in bed), and he always was waiting for us at the time clock at the end of the day…giving us high-fives and letting us know how hard we worked and what a good job we all did!!! In my eyes, he was a father figure that I never had.

Just when my moods seemed heavy and an attitude would begin to set in….here came Cliff jumping from around a corner (literally!!) with a big smile on his face singing, "We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!" As most of you know, Im pretty short :), and this was his way of reminding me of that fact and making me laugh…..resulting in an instant uplift in my spirit!! I was his favorite "munchkin" at work and he always made me feel loved and appreciated.

A couple of months ago, I received word from a co-worker that Cliff was ill. At first I didnt think much about it. I knew that he had been having some pretty bad heachaches, but I just figured that the job was wearing him down. He worked VERY hard, and I often seen him running through the building not only trying to get his work done, but helping all of us ladies out on his way. But, a week later I was informed that he had been admitted into the hospital and they had diagnosed him with brain cancer.

Even the news of this didnt make me think much about it because you see, Cliff was a determined man. This was NOT going to beat him. He was a fighter and although rarely, I KNEW that some people recovered from this sort of thing, and he would be one of those very rare numbers. Last Monday, I was on my floor working when my Vocera (communication device that I have to wear at work…) went off and on the other end whos voice do I hear but Cliff Hazelbakers!! His words were, "Your man’s in the house…just wanted to tell everyone hello and that I love and miss you guys!!"

He was at the hospital with his son and was picking up some meds, so my supervisor allowed us all to come down and see him. When I got to where he was, he was sitting in a wheel chair. I froze, I could not believe how much toll this illness had already taken on him, and reality quickly set in…….But ohhh were his spirits still so strong. He must have been able to tell that my heart was breaking because he looked right at me and said, "come here." I walked over to him and he pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, kissed my cheek, and whispered in my ear, "Dont be sad for me you hear me…..I have accepted this and I am ready! I am not afraid and I dont hurt." I just hugged him back and didnt want to ever let go.

That very moment taught me the truest way possible of being thankful for the breath that I was taking, my heart that I had beating, and the many blessings that God has placed into my life. This man was dying. His time was very limited and at any given moment, he would not be here. Hours were not guaranteed to this man…let alone a tomarrow. The illness was winning, and pretty soon I knew that I would not get the privelage of seeing this man in front of me. It hurt, and I was angry.

I remember asking God, "if you were going to let this man come into my life, and for me to get so attached….why are you taking him away so soon?" God answered that through Cliff eyes because when I looked into them, I heard God speak to me saying, " what has this man taught you?" The answer to that is this: Life is not always perfect, it rarely is. There are going to be times to laugh and celebrate, but there are also going to be times when the best thing to do is drop to your knees and cry. But as my VERY very dear friend Cliff asked me one day, when I was discussing some struggles I was having, he said, "Well muchkin, when you get the chance to sit it out or dance…..are you going to sit it out or dance?"

Thursday, April 16th 2009 at approximately 9:00 a.m. I received word that my dear friend had passed early that morning. My heart literally ripped in two. I was so hurt and felt so much guilt. I hadnt even went to see him at home and there was so much that I wanted him to know!!! I wanted to tell him how so very thankful I was that I had met him and how joyful he had made me. I wanted to tell him that I had made up my mind about that question that he asked me, when life was getting rough….instead of sitting it out….I was going to dance!! He would have been so proud to hear that. But no, I never took the chance to go and tell him, and now he is gone.

I will never ever get to sit in front of him and see the look on his face when I walk into a room….I’ll never get to hear his voice as he belts out our favorite song….from the Wizard of Oz. I was SO VERY ANGRY that I almost couldnt handle that anger. I went back to work after hearing the news and found it very hard to concentrate on my responsibilties. A guilty mood set over me and weighed me down very heavily that day.

At the end of the day, when it was time to clock out, I looked at the line of people from department, and was once again reminded that Cliff wasn’t here. I wouldnt be seeing him in this line, getting any of his high-fives, or listening to him joke around with all of us. But, when the day was done, and when I got to the door that would take me out of the building, the sun hit my face and I could hear Cliff saying, "this day is BEAUTIFUL…..go dance Munchkin!!!" …and I knew that he was home. I will forever love and miss you Cliff Hazelbaker!!!

This is from my amazing older sister

I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to let go of Dad, and yesterday I went home after coffee with mom and everyone and took a very long nap. During which, I had a dream. The four of us kids and mom went on a journey together and we landed at the house as it was when I was little. A big boxer came to meet us in the backyard and inside was us four kids as little ones and dad in his underwear (like always), laughing and playing with us. I hugged him and said daddy I miss you, he smiled as big as ever and said, It’s ok can’t you see I am happy! We then started to go through the house and there were many rooms. In each room was what looked like Dad, but we knew it was him reincarnated into someone or something else. The rooms all represented something of him. One room, Dad was an autistic child watching a large screen with beautiful pictures on it. Some rooms were were just filled with beautiful things but had a presence I can’t explain. There was a room just filled with kids and I can’t explain all of the rooms but in the last one, dad was in bed and all of us jumped in and held each other as if saying goodnight one more time. We smiled and laughed and I could feel his face on mine and hear his voice telling us all how much he loved us and he was happy. In the end of my dream, dad called me on my phone and I said, “daddy, daddy I love you are you there?” He said “It’s me Tammy and I love you”. The dream was over. The weird thing is that Bob would try and wake me up and I kept saying no, I have to finish this dream! At this point, I really let my dad go and it felt OK Tammy Sue

The Ceremony will be held at the American Legion located at 109 North 6th Street, Richmond, Indiana 47374. It will begin @ 4:00.

CLIFFORD L. HAZELBAKER II

CELEBRATION OF LIFE

APRIL 25, 2009

4:00p.m. – 5:00p.m.                Congregate and eat

5:00p.m. – 5:30p.m.                Celebration of Life Ceremony

Speaker/Singing                    Amy (youngest daughter)

Speaker                                  Mindy (middle daughter)

Singing                                   Love Can Build a Bridge

Speaker                                  Clifford III (the one and only son)

Singing                                   Two Sparrows

Speaker                                  Tammy (oldest daughter)

Singing                                   Go Rest High on That Mountain

Singing                                   It Is Well With My Soul (Those who

                                                gather around the tree)

Mom’s Candle Lighting         Song, “You Raise Me Up”

Speakers                                 Any immediate family who would like to speak.

Speakers                                 Open to anyone who would like to

                                                share something about their

                                                journey with Cliff.

After everyone has shared their stories we will have a casual gathering with DJ Dena and the cash bar will be set up.

We would like to thank all of you for helping us celebrate Cliff’s life. He has filled many hearts with love. His life and his journey will never be forgotten. His love was patient and kind. It was not jealous or boastful. It was not arrogant or rude. His love did not insist on its own way. It was not irritable or resentful. It did not rejoice at wrong, but rejoiced in the right. His love bared all things, believed all things and endured all things. His love will never end.

We will be having a celebration of Life ceremony Saturday, April 25th, 2009 (4:00p.m.-??) It will be held at the American Legion located at 109 North 6th Street, Richmond, Indiana 47374. We will laugh, sing, cry and tell amazing stories about Cliff! We will have pictures and videos so we can share some of his incredible moments with all of you.

Clifford L. Hazelbaker II, 57, of Richmond was born January 13, 1952 and was reborn on April 16, 2009. Cliff was the son of Clifford and Barbara (Goodwin) Hazelbaker. Cliff graduated from Centerville High School in 1970. He was married to Nancy McBride Hazelbaker on March 6, 1970. They recently celebrated their 39th Wedding Anniversary. Cliff enjoyed spending time with his incredible family. Their family motto is “Love Never Fails!” He also enjoyed sharing his love of God on www.boldgrace.com. Here is an excerpt from that site… “Clouds don’t seem to care where they’re going. They are content to follow the directions of the spirit of the air, enjoying the journey as they make their way to their purpose. Though they are unaware of their designation or their purpose as they travel along, they find themselves eventually called upon to join forces and deliver liquid life to the earth. Often exhausted, they whither and die, having given all of themselves in doing their work. But, as those clouds die, others are reborn from their seed to carry on the purpose.” Cliff is survived by his wife Nancy ; Mother, Barbara; Children: Tammy (Bob) Thompson of Centerville, Clifford (Bridget) Hazelbaker III of Richmond, Mindy (Charlie) Hill of New Carlisle, Ohio, Amy (Todd) Witter of Bath, Indiana; He is also survived by 9 grandchildren: Josh, Jacob, Paige, Samantha, Clifford IV, Abby, Emma, Lilly and Phoebe. Brothers: Andy (Teresa) and Doug (Cindy) Hazelbaker.

Dad was reborn at 6:40 this morning with all of his family around him singing you raise me up. It was the most beautiful thing we have all ever witnessed. We will see you again Daddy.

We are all together right now in Dad’s final hours. We have been playing all of Dad’s favorite songs and we have been singing to him. Lots of tears. Lots of pain. I can’t quite explain all of this, but I can feel God in the room. He is with Dad and all of us helping him to move forward. This is beautiful and painful all in each breath he makes. We keep telling him that he has prepared us well for this and that we are ready to give him back to God. I don’t know when Dad will be reborn, but I know we are close. Pray that God takes him soon.

Progression: the act of progressing; forward or onward movement. 2. a passing successively from one member of a series to the next; succession; sequence.

Yesterday we all woke to some dramatic changes. Dad is very confused. It is very difficult for him to speak and his little legs just shake when he tries to walk so we have graduated on from the walker to the wheelchair. Let it be known that when he does have clarity he speaks to us in the same confident manner in which he has always done. He is amazing. We do not feel as if he is any pain. He seems to sleep a great deal and seems very peaceful. Even through his progression he is still very selfless. He is still showing us how to love others unconditionally.

I was reading one of his books that has all of his notes written in red. He had underlined the following parts:

"Knowing is loving." If God truly knows me, God actually loves me. The old Testament is clear that truly to "know" somebody is to love her or him, For God, knowing is the language of intimacy rather than intimidation. God is love because God knows us. This divine knowing is the eternal antidote for depression and melancholy. We are known and loved. We are not alone-hence, we need not be lonely.

My Father has and never will be alone. God knows him well. This is what helps all of us get through this progression.

My beautiful and sweet loving niece has written a post.

I was standing in our creek yesterday, the water rushed over my shoes and down past me-out of sight. I thought about the path that each one of us has in our life here. Like a river or creek being pulled toward the ocean by a force much greater that it is. We are drawn down our path in life yet some try to break this beautiful process by clinging to the banks-it makes the process harder when it could be so smooth. I think about my Uncle Cliff and I know that right now he is not clinging to the banks along the river-he is floating down smoothly. I believe that Cliff said to Mindy "remember, you are being moved through the journey of life by a power you cannot see. Your destination is greatness beyond your comprehension. Your purpose must be your passion for life. And peace is your resting place at the end of the day." Cliff, I believe that we are given glimpses of that power each day. -a bright, warm sun, the infinite sky filled with stars and galaxies far beyond anything we can imagine, even the perfect process we witness as the Earth grows, becomes green, blossoms and then returns as the snow falls and the sky becomes gray. We are that power, we are the rays of the sun, we are universal, we are the Earth’s flower that blooms and then returns home- its spirit freed to find another journey. Although this form returns to the Earth, the energy inside escapes and glows. We will look for you-glowing in the pink sky at the end of our day.