Utopia is always ours
Update on my travel thru the valley:
I have made my decision to allow this process to go forward in its perfection just as I always knew it would. I am now firmly convinced that a perfect utopia has never been out of our reach, from the moment of our birth, until we have taken our last breath. I believe his perfect plan is so strongly based upon the people he chooses to bring into each of our lives and oh how he chose the perfect ones for me! My family, my friends from youth, and all of the Bold Grace people who have come my way for years. I feel especially indebted to Mike Williams, Geo Howell, Bruce, Steve, Mike Gross, Connie Laird, Lisa Perry, and a whole bunch of people who do not even know how they have affected my life. I hope they will keep sharing their heart to a world that needs their heart, not a doctrine, not a church, not a religion, but their heart. All I have ever tried to share was my heart. I want to mention Kevin Beck, for his pioneering work in the area of the human heart. It is the new great frontier! Bruce is already there. Hear what he has to say, every word he speaks is like that of God.
Cliff
If there was a debt to owe we who you mentioned along with all that have come in contact with you through your life would owe you not you us. But we both know that there is NO debt that we owe each other. There are no words either just as Doug said. But even so we still feel the weight of it all in our flesh.
I LOVE YOU BRO!
Peace
Geo
Cliff,
You are very brave and gracious in the manner in which you are facing your situation. I admire you greatly for that.
I also want you to know that even though you and I have never met in person, your several email communications with me over the last couple of years mean SO much to me. You will forever be with me in spirit, just as I know you will be with all the other member of the BG community, and your family and friends. You are truly a one-in-a-million guy, and I will never forget you.
Godspeed Cliff!
Jason
I love you so much Cliff! Right now my heart is saying I am so VERY grateful to have you in my life. Thank you so much for your encouragement and your constant reminders of what really is important. You have helped me to be a better person and I will always love you for that.
Cliff, God bless you. In a world so blinded by misunderstanding and confusion you are rare beacon of hope and life. When my time comes may I face it with a fraction of your courage and wisdom.
Cliff,
During one of our “conversations” by e-mail, I remember saying that I wish we had a chance to sit down with each other sometime, maybe drink a cup of coffee together and just enjoy being in each other’s presence for a while. In a sense, I think we have done that through the past few months here at BoldGrace. Often I have been sitting here at my computer, with coffee in hand, and enjoyed reading words that I know come straight from your heart. One of the e-mails you sent to me and my sisters started “To my beautiful southern cousins” and you have a way of making me feel beautiful and loved even from across the miles and through the medium of e-mail. You have a gift that is rare and wonderful and I am greatly blessed for knowing you. I will continue to enjoy the words you speak here and treasure them in my heart when you are no longer able to speak. May our Father continue to bless you with peace and joy in this part of your journey.
As always, Connie
Hi Cliff,
Not sure if you remember me, I’m Jeff Williams. Andy was always like my older brother for years and years and today I called to talk to him for a little bit and learned of what you are going through. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. From reading your blogs here, Andy told me about these, you have an unbelieveable spirit and attitude for this. My dad has now been gone for over 30 years and there isn’t a day that I don’t think about him. I know you, Andy, and Doug have always been close and I know that this has to be hard on them as well. I was glad my dad went suddenly. 3 years ago my oldest son became a Police Officer for the city of Indianapolis. You think his grandfather’s not riding shootgun in that patrol car. Take care. Bio Con Dios. Jeff
wow. You are inspiring. Thank you so much.
There’s so much I’d like to say, but you alread know it in your heart.
Humbly, With deep love and admiration,
Kevin
The “Dark edge of the woods” is a challenge as kids that the three of us took very serious. We live across the gravel road from a woods that was almost as large as the Great Smoky Mountain Forest. During the day we would play in that woods and we knew every inch of it. The best trees to climb , the best places to hide, but at night that woods change. At night the lions and tigers and bears would prowl, there were spiders big enough to eat small dogs and snakes as long as telephone poles, but every summer one of us would accept the challenge to walk from the dark edge of that woods to the back of it till u could see the open farm field. You must do it alone without nothing but your own bravery.
Each of us to this day claim we victoriously made this journey, but i suspicion that maybe some may have only ventured far enough into the Dark edge of the woods to not be seen , but to still be in clear view of the warm safe glow of Mom and Dads front porch lite, staying only long enough to make there journey believable.
I for one can honestly testify that i made the journey, and fought off with my bare hands many lions and tigers , and bears. At Least that’s my story and im stickin to it….
‘Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My”
GOOD NITE BRO
I have never been able to share my feelings with the beauty of words, like Angie Mindy Tammy Sarah mid judy Leanne and so many others especially my brother cliff, but i know that skill came streaming down the gene pool from Don c Goodwin and Clifford l Hazelbaker sr. What i am good at is feeling the words.
The band Chicago has a song called “Beginning” That lets me feel Cliffs words..
ITS ONLY THE BIGINNING BRO , ITS ONLY JUST THE START..
This is for the, BG ,Brothers of Cliff. Cliff has always been able to share a story that will top all others. When i was in the first grade and my older brother Andy was in the fourth, and Cliff was still at home with mom being babied like a primadona(sorry cliff, had to say that), i came home with a really good picture that i colored between all the lines, and Andy got a D on a math test, his best for the year, and of course Mom and Dad were bragging on us like we were the two most special boys in the world. It was in the middle of all that, that CLIFF blurted out that he saw “a bear in the woods”.
IT WAS THE LAST BLACK BEAR EVER SIGHTED IN NORTHERN INDIANA…
Well, I’m having trouble sleeping so naturally I came down here to the computer and kind of drifted over here to this site only to find Dougie’s been back at work. Keep churnin’ those stories out, cuz! You can tell ‘em like no other! Must have the memory of an elephant.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed….Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(II Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18)
(Still can’t sleep)
Doug,
Don’t cut yourself short. You also have a way with words and a sense of humor to go with it. I have loved reading your stories about your childhood. I think you could write a book. LOve Judy
Doug, you fellows must have ran all of those black bear out of northern Indiana during your fearless treks in to the woods and now they are in West Virginia where the black bear is our state animal. They seem pretty fearful of humans. probably because of their encounters with the Hazelbaker boys.
Cliff:
I cannot put into words what I am feeling right now. Its by Gods amazing grace that I stumbled across this website and was able to ready your thoughts on this journey.
You have had an amazing impact on my life, and I only wish that I would have gotten the pleasure of meeting you sooner.
…I miss getting to see your smiling face at work everyday and hearing you sing to me (we’re off to see the wizards the wonderful wizard of oz….lol), or how you would randomly “rap” to us when we would work our weekend. Lets not forget what an amazing team you and I made when I “helped” you un-jam the bailer on the dock….its ok…I wont tell any of the boys at work that I am the person who fixed the machine that day…lol.
You always knew how to lighten the mood and put a smile on our faces.
Seeing you today brought a smile to my face and an uplift in my spirit.
We love you so very much Cliff and hope that you know how much you truly mean to us all. Tina and I talk about you often and cant help to smile when we share our memories of you together!! You are like a dad I never had…always concerned and always going out of your way to see how my day was going.
You are FOREVER in my heart Cliff Hazelbaker!! God has truly blessed me beyond measure with your friendship!!
Love Always,
Misty DeSonie
mdesonie@aol.com
My new best friend said there are two possibilities to believe in, atheism and a god of love. From what faith should i choose.
For what reason would i pick one more then the other.. compassion ,kindness ,honesty, truthfulness ,dedication ,passion , or simply a need to believe that there is more then i understand.
If there is a greater plan, that i cant understand, why would anyone spend a life time trying to? I have never read any bible, and i cant quote any scriptures. Do u think i am any less prepared for what is next then any one else.
I know my brother had total faith in God, but i also know he questioned all that was not presented to him directly from God. He trusted in the fact that he could only count on one thing, that his God was a loving GOD. Because of my brother i will never die in fear, because i believe he is either right or it dont matter.
I have the same questions you do and I can’t quote scriptures either, but what I know is in my heart and I believe that comes from a greater spirit. My Dad taught me to live in Love. I would rather live the rest of my life in that than in fear. I think you and I are just as prepared for what is next. I don’t believe preparing yourself comes from fearing God. I think believing in yourself and digging deep within to find strength and courage to believe in love will get you through what ever it is you are going through. My Dad kept saying until the very last day…it is simple. IT IS SIMPLE!
I am going to post his letter today. I read it at the celebration.
What a journey bro. I HAVE DANCED WITH YOUR BABIES, and tried to hold them as close as my own. I have watched your mother hold back her tears and her grieving to be there to hold the woman you loved, and a brother searching for his place to protect all that was precious to you. I have tasted the tears of all your earthly love, and listened to the pounding of my heart in the darkest part of night. I CRIED FOR WISDOM, and all I kept hearing was a voice telling me to silence my scream and listen to my heart. I FELT THE ANGELS YOU SENT ME, and began to hear the whisper. I FOUGHT THROUGH MY ANGER TO HONOR MY PROMISE a promise i was sorry i made many times.
I don’t need to tell you bro how amazingly strong all that love you are..you knew, but i will tell you that it is a long walk to the top of the mountain, but as you look down it, you will see an army of love coming to you.
I cant tell you bro, that the journey I took for you has allowed me not to miss you because I always will, but i can tell you that Paul may not have got it right when he said love dose not envy, because i think man can envy Angels like you, or maybe my journey isn’t over till we wrestle one more time in the oneness i seek.
Till we touch again in love:
your bros
PS Tell Paul i said sorry, but just sayin…
I love the way an old man can sit quietly in his chair and softly drop his head and close his eyes. Others see him sleeping without thoughts or dreams, but they are oh so wrong. Before his chin touches his chest he has walk on the crest of frozen glistening snow like Jesus walked on water, he has climbed a giant sycamore tree and viewed the beauty of earth from a birds eye view, he has kiss a girl under a street light, and ran with the speed of the wind through the woods.
All of this was done before you smelled the milk of your mother’s breast, or saw his chin touched his chest.
MC SAYS: It is better to watch an old man sleep in his deck chair with drool on his mouth and a peace sign on his shoulder that says”kill cats first” then to stare at a coyote with the same drool.
freakin suck up cat!
Noway that dam cats getting the last word tonight bro.
Man looks for love in the clouds, in the flowers. Man can see love at last call in a darkened bar. MAN CAN HEAR LOVE WITH THE WHISPER OF A BREEZE, but he will only know love when he can hold his own heart in his hand and dance with it.
MC SAYS: The difference between a master that is crazy, and a crazy master, is that i love a crazy master, and i fear a master that is crazy.
Dam stupid cat.. I’m gonna shave him and make him look like one of them Egyptian Phoenix cats!!!!!
Have you ever wondered why woman have come so much closer to the nature of love then men. They will hold each other, they will kiss each other, they will talk with each other, and to men, and men will not…hum,,
There is something saying in my pea man brain that if you want to know who is gender closer to God open your dam eyes, and you will see Eve in the mirror as you shave .. awh i love it, and would continue with my thought but MC SAYS I’M SCARING HIM.
My brother wanted you to know that love is all enduring, it dont give up and it last BEYOND your last living breath. HE WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT EVERY WAY HE COULD.
And these are his words:
“Someone must let them know that they can face every storm. They can endure every trial. They can suffer all sorts of difficulties, and still remain people of love” Cliff Hazelbaker.
MC SAYS: I have stared into the squinted eyes of a Mad cat, and still seen the ears she wants bitten, and i knew she couldn’t walk away from love.
crazy f/in cat.. can you make wax out of them?
Man can walk away from any love. There is no love in mans mind that can last forever. The love he feels is held in the visions man has taught him to see, and danced with in the desire of what he cant have.
Man can walk away from any love, but the one in his heart, and it circles like the vertigo of fear ending in the truth of peace, the spot in the middle of your mind, the center of your life, the beginning of the ending.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0egWXAPGVOo