My best friend Heather sent me this wonderful poem today and I have to share it with all of you.
Today I smiled, and all at once things didn’t look so bad. Today I shared with someone else, A little bit of hope I had. Today I sang a little song, And felt my heart grow light. I walked a happy little mile, With not a cloud in sight. Today I worked with what I had, And longed for nothing more, And what had seemed like only weeds, Were flowers at my door. Today I loved a little more, And complained a little less. And in the giving of myself, I forgot my weariness.
Author Unknown
Last night on my way home I cried… the entire way… and on into my bed as I layed down to sleep…I cried like a new born needing her parent to sooth her needs. I just hadn’t felt the need to cry like that yet. I have been so focused on making sure that the only thing my Father sees before he dies is my smiling face. I selfishly cried into the night for the hope that this was all a dream, but I woke up this morning and got to hear my Father’s voice over the phone and Today I smiled.
People come over everyday all throughout the day. I am blown away at how many people have been touched by my Father. Each person sits down with tears in their eyes and then Dad gently grabs their hands and shares his faith with them. The peace that he has is soul soothing. He tells them with such consistant confidence that he is not afraid. I truly believe that he isn’t. He tells them that this is the process God has planned for him. The thought that My Dad will go on without us can be such a contradiction for right now, but the love that he has shared with everyone is such a gift that obviously keeps on giving.
Thank you to everyone for their love and kindness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Bold Grace will always be an extension of my Father. This is a wonderful outlet for people to be true to who they are. No Judgements here…Just a perfect process.
Love you all!!!!
Update on my travel thru the valley:
I have made my decision to allow this process to go forward in its perfection just as I always knew it would. I am now firmly convinced that a perfect utopia has never been out of our reach, from the moment of our birth, until we have taken our last breath. I believe his perfect plan is so strongly based upon the people he chooses to bring into each of our lives and oh how he chose the perfect ones for me! My family, my friends from youth, and all of the Bold Grace people who have come my way for years. I feel especially indebted to Mike Williams, Geo Howell, Bruce, Steve, Mike Gross, Connie Laird, Lisa Perry, and a whole bunch of people who do not even know how they have affected my life. I hope they will keep sharing their heart to a world that needs their heart, not a doctrine, not a church, not a religion, but their heart. All I have ever tried to share was my heart. I want to mention Kevin Beck, for his pioneering work in the area of the human heart. It is the new great frontier! Bruce is already there. Hear what he has to say, every word he speaks is like that of God.
January 13th 1952, I was born and took my first breath, and i entered into perfection. I entered into life with a perfect god, and a perfect process to take me to the end. Now after 57+ years I have been able to observe that plan of perfection. And it has been glorious. Perfection is a state of being in a perfection faith connected to a perfect Creator. When we are connected to that state of being nothing that comes next will surprise us, and we will live in a constant state of peace and security that cannot be touched by insecurity and circumstances of what we think this world brings to us, because perfection cannot be threatened, imperfection does not exist and there-in lies the true peace of god. We find that perfection, we find our beginning moment once again and we are at peace.
Clouds don’t seem to care where they’re going. They are content to follow the directions of the spirit of the air, enjoying the journey as they make their way to their purpose. Though they are unaware of their desination or their purpose as they travel along, they find themselves eventually called upon to join forces and deliver liquid life to the earth. Often exhausted, they whither and die, having given all of themselves in doing their work. But, as those clouds die, others are reborn from their seed to carry on the purpose.
Tonight, me and my family had a moment. We shared laughter, we shed tears, we shared stories and we shed some of our pain. It was such a good day. Dad was up for most of the day. No, he may not express out loud as much what is going on in his head, but we know what he is thinking and feeling and when he can he speaks to us in a really weak voice, but talks to us with such strength and courage. It is amazing to witness. When the end of the night was closing and he was ready for his bed he said that he wanted to go to bed with Mom. I got to see these two people who have found perfection in each other just snuggle into each others arms and then he says to us before we leave them for the night that he loves his children and we are angels.
I know this is a perfect process and I know because my Dad has been teaching this to me all my life even before he knew it himself and I can feel it in my soul. I am not sure if this all makes sense, but tonight my oldest sister Tammy made perfect sense to me. She said that we go through each life learning something new. It is like a puzzle and with each life we are given pieces of our puzzles until we get all of them and then our puzzle is completed. My Dad has been given pieces of his puzzle and through his lives he has given pieces to others because we are all connected. What my Father is experiencing is a perfect process. It may take a while for others to get a piece and for some of us like my Dad it doesn’t take long at all, but when you get it hold on tight. Don’t be afraid. It will get hard and you may want to give up, but have faith in yourself and have faith that this is a perfect process towards something that will be even greater. God is loving each one of us perfectly and sees us just the way he made us…perfect, SO, until we recognize what God sees we will fear and we will fall. My Father has no fear.
If my little girl asks me when I am coming home or when I am finished I will tell her that it will only be a few months and to be patient, but to understand that this will be a lifetime for me.
After days of traveling the dark valley, I once again see the light of life. These lights make up my children, my family, my friends, my doctor and all the medical professionals willing to help me. I have hospice which takes away a lot of fear. They are here to meet all my needs. I’m grateful to all those out there meeting my needs and my spiritual needs. I really enjoyed seeing Bruce. The doctor ensured me again that I have about 6 months and it should come easy. I don’t consider this a death experience, I can consider this a birth experience. In every labor there is pain and in every labor there is time to let go of the placenta of life and reach on to the power and energy of what is the new life and I look forward to that. If it’s possible I hope one of those great energies is the ability to see my Dad. My faith has not change and I believe in a perfect God who has a perfect process for each of us. That’s why we have nothing to fear because every piece of the puzzle is perfect. There is absolutely no fear in where I am at. I feel surrounded by angels of peace. Keep watching because I am not done yet!
Our friend Don Rogers wrote a very heartfelt post concerning Cliff on his "Reflections" blog yesterday. He helped put into words a little of what many of us are feeling after having spent the last few fortunate years reading the wise, gracious and love filled writings of our very special friend Cliff.
"Cliff, there are some of us who are jealous. Some of us who have great heartaches. Some of us who don’t know what to say, but all of us love you for who you are and what you do and have done."
If you wish to read Don’s entire post you can do so here.
OK, SO…no more sobbing for a while I have to tell on myself and give everyone a laugh. So we get Dad in the shower and dressed and he is awake a bit more then he has been and I asked him if he wanted something to eat. He tells me he would like a hot fudge sunday so I shot out of here like I my tail was on fire and I headed to McDonalds to get my Dad a hotfudge Sunday. So I get it and I rush home. Was I speeding? Well maybe just a little. All of the Sunday I see a cop and of course he turns to follow me with his beauiful lights just a shinin. I roll the window down and I said Please don’t do this now. My Dad wants a hot fudge and he is dieing of brain Cancer. The cop looks at me like I am full of hotfudge and tells me I have to give you a ticket, but let me follow you and I will write it there. So he follows me and I get out and walk up to his car and I said please you can’t do this now my Grandma is here. He says to go give my Dad the hot fudge Sunday and come back out. So I go inside to give Dad the Sunday and I tell my sister to come outside so we can convince this guy that I am telling the truth. I promised the cop I would never speed again and he gives me a warning. ( Some promises are hard to keep cause if Dad asked me to get him a cheeseburger I can’t promise I won’t hurry to do it.) LOL
Mr. Cop where ever you are…thank you. I owe you one. Dad didn’t ever eat the Sunday. LOL
