Is Your Spirit from God?
I will always enjoy talking about my Father. He was the kind of man that made you feel like you could do and be anything. He made you want to Love life. He made sense of life. He could find joy in the saddest situation. His laugh was contagious and his heart was full of love. He may not have been seen as perfect by man, but in God’s eyes he was complete perfection. He had found his spirit from God and believed that God is Love.
I have found myself wanting to make sense of Dad’s death because I am still in denial that he is gone, but deep down I know the reality is that anything is possible so I will have faith in my heart and faith in my soul and when I get goosebumps over a feeling I have…I am gonna go with it and let it flow like a river. I guess why I am going here is because all weekend I had several conversations with different people and it seemed to always lead to a topic about the "light of Love". I feel the need to try and describe what my Father saw in his final days because it is important for people to understand that when you let go and let God all the fear goes away and I got to witness it.
Dad said, "Mindy, when I look at people I don’t see a person that is wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I see a light and all I feel is Love for them." He would also always say to me that this message is SIMPLE!! Dad wasn’t seeing judgement or fear. He didn’t feel insecure about who he was or what he had done in his life. All of that nonsense, all of the worldly perceptions, perspectives and illusions had gone away. He had a mission that he had completed. It makes me wonder if what I was witnessing in my Father was what Jesus had seen while he was hanging on the cross?
During my Fathers 57 years he never stopped learning to love. He never closed his mind to anything. He kept it wide open. Is that why his time here in this life was finished so soon? Had he learned all that he could and he had finally reached his resting place where he saw nothing but the light of love in everyone? Is that what we are here for?
In 1st Corinthians chapter 2 verses 6-16 Paul is speaking about the Wisdom from our own Spirit which is the spirit of God who lives within us all.
6We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. (I BELIEVE THESE "RULERS" ARE THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS) 7No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"[b]— 10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.[c] 14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man’s judgment:
16"For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?"[d] But we have the mind of Christ.
What I have highlighted in blue helps me understand how far my Father had gone on this earth and how far I want to go. My Father understood the spirit that lived within him therefore he understood the Spirit of God. My Father had acknowledged that this had always been there within him, but had come to a point in this life where his mind had finally rested and he had the mind of Christ. The words were written on his heart. He had no need to search any longer for the answers. He is at a place of peace and everlasting Love.
God is Love and I believe I came from Love and I will go back to Love. My Spirit is from God and I am working everday towards the mind of Christ.
We cannot get to where Dad got by human wisdom. We get there through the spirit that lives within each of us. The spirit of the world is an illusion we will not find the mind of Christ there. We have to go to the words of the spirit within ourselves and those words are written on our hearts.
In 2nd Corinthians chapter 3 verses 1-3
1Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? 2You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. 3You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
MY FATHER WAS HUMBLE AND HE UNDERSTOOD THAT HE NEEDED NOTHING FROM ANYONE ELSE. HE HAD BEEN GIVEN LIFE BY THE SPIRIT.
Where he is now I am not sure. Most of the time I think he is a bird that sits outside on his back porch, but I am not sure. What I am sure of is that he was a spirit of the living God as are all of us. He had one hell of a journey and it was an amazingly wonderful life full of LOVE…
I have found myself wanting to make sense of Dad’s death
Mindy
IT MAKES NO HUMAN SENSE! Of course I know that you know this but we still want to in our feeble way understand why? The answer to that is not to come in this realm of life. But one day in the future realm you will make sense of it. I love you girl and I hear your dad saying, “keep it up my favorite child”
Peace
Geo
You are so right. It makes NO Human sense at all, but my spiritual sense is wanting to find a way and I guess for now it is a journey I am on. I may never get the answers that I want or need to soothe my sorrows of the pain of this loss, but it feels like a place where I am suppose to be. Maybe I am just in denial? Maybe I have gone cookoo and I am exposing myself for the entire world to see? LOL…I don’t know? Dad said soo many things to me before he died and I guess I want to try and make sense of it all.
It’s human nature to want to make sense of things. My siblings and I are currently dealing with the ravages of age in our mother. It makes no sense to me that a dear, godly, gracious woman should have to end life in this way. But, it is what it is. Faith (to me) includes accepting this as something that will ultimately end up for good even though I can’t understand how or why. I don’t understand, but I trust.
Do we linger here because of fear and worry? I know I may not know how or when I will go, but will it be easier if I don’t hold on to anything and let the process just happen? Other than the source from which I came nobody will ever really know what is going on inside my mind while the process is happening unless I can open it up and share it freely with those around me. So if I let go of fear and worry will it happen easier and faster?
I have never seen any indication that we linger here because of fear and worry or that it will make the end happen faster if we let them go. However, letting go of fear and worry is always a good thing (note to self!) and, in my experience, it makes everything easier when we can do that. It’s a process that some people never are able to complete. Others, like your dad, apparently do. Most of us are somewhere in between, I think, vacillating between being at peace and then being fearful, then finding that place of peace again. The issue is trust. Do we really believe that “all things work together for good”, even the seemingly bad stuff? If we do, then there’s no need to be fearful, is there? (Again, note to self!)
Hey Mindy. How crazy is it that I have a pencil stuck in the pages of that book your Dad gave to me that day in his living room. I was reading last night, it says “The soul passes from one body to another until it has proven itself superior to the inclinations of the flesh. Then after many lives, or few if one had the good sense to be a philosopher, the soul wins freedom from the demands of the brutish and lustful body and is at liberty to return to its divine home under no compulsion to incarnate again.” Also, underlined in pencil it says “Christ is indeed a savior inasmuch as by the example and inspiration of his life he shows man that the longed-for goal is attainable.” I feel like your Dad was a philosopher and he did prove with his own life that what we “long for” is attainable. It is already right here inside us. You are incredible, you know? Love you
Ang,
It is so crazy that I can’t sleep! All I keep thinking about are all of the clues that Dad seems to be leaving behind. They suspiciously keep me going…
I am so proud of him Angie. I am so proud that I can’t even find the words to express it. You understood what I was trying to write. I am finding great comfort in knowing that he won his freedom and headed back home. (the tears have turned on like a faucet). I know many may not understand this, but what you had read and what I was feeling are too connected right now that I can’t even comprehend this. I feel like my Father was a philosopher as well. It was so simple to him. He always thought he was coming back, but I think why this is so hard is that deep down inside I know that he won his freedom and he will not incarnate again. I will still say hello to the bird on the back porch, but it is probably just comfort to me. I just hope I can win my freedom so that I can retire and go back to the source from which we came…and then I can see him again. I can’t wait to see him again. It is attainable. Thank you so much Angie.
Connie,
I believe that people hold on to fear so much that when it is their time they are afraid to let go. Let go of the worldy things that have undefined who they really are. Their spirits can’t be set free to fly because they are afraid to let go of the ones they love or the things they love. I witnessed it many times with people that I knew very well. My very own Grandma Mcbride fought for every last breath yet she lived a life of following all the laws of her religion. I can remember as a child her showing us all of her beautiful white garments that she would be buried in. They were sacred garments of a temple that she would go visit often. She didn’t drink coffee because of the caffene. She thought she was doing everything she was suppose to in order to get to this holy temple where God was waiting for her. She even had a picture on her wall of Heaven on one side and hell on the other. It scared that crap out of me so I know that she was afraid. I know that is why she did all of the supposed right things so that she would be with God on the good side. The picture showed a temple in the back ground on the heaven side and had all of these really pretty angels surrounding it. On the hell side it showed people who died and were skinny, dirty, in ragged clothing and they were all crying out to God on the other side pleading with him to let them come to the other side. It was awful and in the end she fought for every last breath. Why wasn’t she confident in herself to go to God? Had she not done everything she was suppose to? Why was she soo afraid?
Mindy
My father died when I was a baby. It was tough growing up without him. At a very troubling point in my life, I had this beautiful dream where my father came to me and put his arm around me and said ” Dont worry son, everything will be alright” I awoke the next morning feeling like a million bucks and knowing I was going to be alright. You were blessed to have those words and arms with you for most of your life. You’ll be more than alright.
“We cannot get to where Dad got by human wisdom. We get there through the spirit that lives within each of us.”
I love this. What a wonderful truth spoken from the heart.
TitforTat,
I feel very strongly about our dreams esspecially when we are visited by a loved one that has gone away. I think it is one of the ways our spirits connect to each other. I long for a dream where my Father comes to visit me. It may never happen, but I sure do long for it just as you may long for the arms of your Father. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Mindy, As a nurse, I’ve often been at the bedside of people who were dying. Also, I witnessed the passing of my late husband a few years ago. It is my observation that you really can’t generalize about what will happen at the end based on the kind of life a person has lived or whether they’re fearful or religious or whatever. My husband Jim was one of the least fearful people I’ve ever known and had a truly remarkable relationship with God. Yet, his death was not an easy transition – far from it. Death is simply a mystery that defies easy explanation.
Connie,
I guess what I am trying to say is that death isn’t the mystery to me. It is in fact a part of our process. It isn’t the death that I question. It is the process of living that I feel is a mystery. We all have a truly remarkable relationship with God, but do we all tap into the spirit of God that lives within us and if we do will anyone ever really know my spirit, my thoughts and how I really feel other than God?
In 1st Corinthians chapter 2 verse 11
11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him?
Mindy,
You are your fathers daughter. I see you picking up where your dad left off. What a legacy he left for you.
Judy,
He and I would talk everyday about life and share our philosopies together. I don’t think a day went by where I didn’t hear from him or didn’t hear from me. (I live an hour away) We found this connection about 4 years ago and then the past couple of years we shared some deep, spiritual and personal tribulations together that if I had to go back through again I would. We were like two warriors determined to fight and win. LOL, Maybe that is how we knew each other in another life?? Anyway, he was my spiritual mentor and I feel a connection to him when I write. Sometimes I swear they are his thoughts and just my hands doing the typing, but I will never live up to what he accomplished. I will certainly live everyday trying. He was incredible.
Hello
Mindy, Death is indeed part of the process. And, life is a mystery. And, no one really knows anyone else the way God knows each of us. I do think that as we each tap into the spirit of God, we become closer to others who share that experience. Which perhaps explains the close relationship you had with your dad.
We only get small glimpses of this perfect process of love that , your Dad understood so well. It’s the moment a mother smells the breath of her newborn child , or the safe and secure memories of a child slumbering in the arms of the ones that love and protect them. Our mundane lives harden and Callus us to the feelings that your Dad understood so well. Your Dad left us with one clear expectation, that is through love we will find peace.
We will see the winters jewels again:
That was beautiful Doug! And so true! I pray that I will know that peace that Cliff found and I know that he was very instrumental in showing me how and I will forever be so very grateful for that, for Him, for his family, for this website that I could get to know him and the family and the boldgrace family in a way that I never would have had it not been for this. For me, I feel I’ve known for several years that most organized religions miss the boat when it comes to the importance of love and its just been so refreshing to see it not only be talked about but shown in such awesome ways. I agree with the others mindy, you are your dad’s girl. He is so proud of you and so am I!
I really love you all and am so glad you’re keeping bg alive!!!!!!!
Uncle Doug,
Thank you. I love you and get great comfort in your words. I am getting great comfort in all of you here. This is what life is about.
Hey Doug-
I love to read what you write. As a young girl I wanted to be just like my Daddy. That is why I ran to the fence alone in the dark and swallowed whole raw eggs. I wanted to have his strength. As a teenager I wanted to be just like my Uncle Doug. Squatting in the creek, collecting rocks, listening to the Doobie Brothers. I wanted to have his freedom. As an adult I wanted to be like my Uncle Cliff. Reading and learning and growing. I wanted to have his vision. How lucky I am and how lucky we all are (Tammy, Mindy, Cliff, Amy, Mandy, Sara & Dougie) to have these strengths to go to when we are low. Love you all.
Angie
By the way- You are right, we will see winter’s jewels again.
Oh Whatever Ang! You just did that stuff on Secret Day to make Tammy and me look bad! (It worked-we were chickens)
Sorry Tammy! I think we could hang in there now don’t you? 
But you are right Angie, we definately do have the best family in the world!! Strength, Freedom and Vision. If you have one of the three you’re pretty lucky and we have all three!
Love you guys,
Mandy
I think that Cliff was beginning to see the wider community as his ‘family’. It had nothing to do with blood-ties, but everything to do with the indwelling spirit – that lively current that connects us all to each other and comes from our REAL father, the ONE who spoke the WORD and brought us out of nothing. He also formed us in our mother’s womb, but that was simply to provide a ‘tent’ for us to inhabit for our earth experience. The more we glorify the family that we were born into, the more hold the world has over us and our vision is blinkered. It is difficult to ‘let our family go’, but this is the way forward, because our inheritance is not with flesh and blood, but it is spiritual. Letting family go is the secret to seeing the wider community as that REAL family. May you not take offence at my words, but ‘hear’ from the voice within.
Sorry Audrey but I think Cliff had both because he understood both.
I believe that I am where I am spiritually because of where I have been in this life and perhaps in others before. I believe that influences from my family in this life have opened my eyes to the wider community. I am learning to hear the voice within, like Cliff did. I am not so sure that I would be on the path that I am on had I not had such a truly loving, open and accepting family. I want to break free from the holds that the world has over me and I hope that I am heading there. It is what I seek. As I travel through life, trying to find some sense in it all, I hope that a loving heart for all people, and a quiet, peaceful mind will be something that I can pass on to my children -a message of love and peace that they too can pass on. You have to hear the message from somewhere. I heard it at home.
It is hard for us to understand because we are still left here on this earth to sift through the worldly and the spiritual, but I do believe that my Father had let go of the worldly and came to a place of pure love for the spirit that lives within each of us and he knew how important it was to create his own family and teach us what he could while he was here. The blood ties help us along our journey. I tend to feel the same way that Audrey does, but if our blood ties have nothing to do with it then why do I bother to share myself with them? Why do I bother to have my own child? I believe it is because they have everything to do with it. It is a connection that I will carry with me forever. I will learn the most about Love through them and I believe that blood ties have a significant purpose.
I was going back in my e-mail stash and clearing things out and found a note from Cliff. He’d written it to me shortly after going to his Uncle Gordon’s funeral. In the subject line, he’d written “Connected Always.” He talked of how “we can talk of all the glory of what is next but that none of that eases the pain of the moment” and that “time has a way of helping us move on.” He also said, “You and I have been to this place where the angels come.” It was written on a background of clouds. Very beautiful and especially poignant to me now that he’s gone. Just thought I’d share that with you guys, for what it’s worth.
Cliff valued his biological ties more than most. He always made much of the fact that he and I were cousins, blood kin, and that even though we hadn’t seen much of each other during our adult years, there would always be that connection. He referred to me and my sisters as his “beautiful southern cousins.” Because we were family, we were special. (You’d almost think he was southern, he valued family so much!)
But, he also seemed to have an openness to everyone else as well. That is what made him unusual I think. He was very inclusive in his love and concern for everyone. I miss him and wish we could have had that cup of coffee together that we used to talk about! May you all continue to find healing and joy in sharing life with each other! Love, Connie
Let me simplify this question of if Cliff loved family as much or more then God or anyone else. HE LOVED WITHOUT EXCEPTION…!
You are right Doug!! I believe that is the point of life…to love without exception!