LOVE THE SECRET DAY by Uncle Doug
My sweet Uncle Doug commented earlier with the following and I just have to post it for those who didn’t read it because having a special day with your child or someone special in your life can give them memories for a lifetime…and in the end memories are precious to have and hold on to.
When my wife and I were very young, before we had our own children we were in love with the children of my brothers and there wives. We doted on them, we knew it was the beauty of life that we wanted to feel. As an unfathered UNCLE at that time I remember wanting to leave a message in there minds. Each year I would gather them and tell them to whisper because we were going to speak of a secret day, we would lay on our belly’s in a circle and talk quietly of the adventure we would have. With crayons and a seriousness of the beauty of that moment of freedom, we would plan that perfect day. With smirks and innocent smiles they would hide there secret of there day to come. They had adventures that I saw sparkle in there minds, memories that will last a lifetime. I believe the message of secret day, the message i wanted to leave in there innocent minds is there to be felt by there perfect hearts. IF YOU NO LONGER KNOW THAT MOMENT OF FREEDOM, THEN UNCLE Doug will have a secret day just for you.
Love the secret day
“Dance Me To The End Of Love”
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We’re both of us beneath our love, we’re both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I’m gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Leonard Cohen… I LOVE HIM
LOVE ALWAYS
Uncle Doug…your Angels love you.
And isn’t it wonderful to know that once they reached the stars of heaven all of the arms of those you love so much wrapped themselves around your perfect star? Do you think Dad had a secret day with your perfect star?
I am loving you with all my heart and soul!
Mindy I think I have two choices. I can believe that I am within Christs love, which is within Gods love, and therefore I am limitless in what I can feel, or I can believe that Gods love is limited and i can never truly feel him in this life.
I choose to believe that Christs love is limitless, and therefore I have the ability to feel the beginning of the universe as God dose that I can hear the whisper of an Angel at the end of time, and feel a heartbeat of an unborn child a thousand years from now, I believe I can feel the energy of a single drop of rain on a flower petal, and taste the tears of million lonely hearts.
I believe that all of this and more is possible, and only restricted by the constraints of our own carnal mind, and yes I believe that your Dad hold my perfect star in arms of love.
love always
My thought tonight is about old dog Brownie. When i was a young boy me and my neighborhood buddies would go over to Mrs. Meniphie house to climb her mulberry trees and eat there fruit. Mrs memiphie was a nice lady and she loved all us boys comin around. She owned a dog named BROWNIE, he was a mutt crossed with collie and st Bernard.
BROWNIES life was confined to a 15 foot chain, at the corner of her porch. He had worn all the grass away, and he would lay beneath that porch. When us boys would show up he would come to the end of that chain with teeth snarling and eyes glaring, daring us to step inside his kingdom.
We would sling rocks at old Brownie and he would retreat to the back of that old dark porch. No one was ever brave enough to step inside that dirt worn half circle of his kingdom. One day he didn’t come out to protect his kingdom, we slung rocks under that pouch, we taunted him in every way you can imagine but he didn’t come out.
Armed with the biggest stick i could find I crawled under that porch. Slowly i made my way back to the corner he was laying in. Stick in hand, perpared to provoke him i approached till i could see him and him me, as we meet eyes he lifted his lips to show his teeth then lowered them only showing sad eyes. I WAS WITHIN FEET OF BEING ABLE TO POKE HIM WITH MY STICK, but i backed out from under that porch. I wasn’t able to tell my friends what knew, I’m not sure i even understood it, but i knew i would never hurt brownie again.
I know now that all brownie ever want was to be loved.
love always
All of the beauty of life is in your heart long before you feel it. All of the knowledge we have was in our hearts from your first breath.
Sometimes you have to crawl under an old dark porch to know it. The lessons of this life are everywhere, but it so easy to walk through it blind to them.
I was 60 years old before i relized God was teaching me with every heartbeat, every moment, and every breath i take.
love the moment….
love always
I don’t like feeling like I’m the only one here. I don’t like feeling like I’m folly for your amusement. I don’t like standing naked in front of you. I dont like sharing all that is in my gut. I don’t like being touched. I don’t like most what I do here, but i feel there is an old brownie in the back of this pouch, and i will crawl to it without a stick and pet its ears.
love Doug
I think sometimes your waiting for my last thought, and I’m waiting for your first one, love the life you have, and live the life you will have. love forever…
My last thought will be of the life you have to live. Will it be by the day, will it be by the years of your life, will it be by the dreams of our mind,or will it be by the trust of your heart, will you feel the sad eyes of brownie between the moments of your heartbeats, or will u take your last breath not believing you can know the beauty within your heart.
Breath deep and feel the love, its a love that told a little boy to lay his stick down and love brownie.
LOVE
SISTERS OF MERCY BY LEONARD COHEN
Oh the sisters of mercy,
they are not departed or gone.
They were waiting for me
when I thought that I just can’t go on.
And they brought me their comfort
and later they brought me this song.
Oh I hope you run into them,
you who’ve been travelling so long.
Yes you who must leave everything
that you cannot control.
It begins with your family,
but soon it comes around to your soul.
Well I’ve been where you’re hanging,
I think I can see how you’re pinned:
When you’re not feeling holy,
your loneliness says that you’ve sinned.
Well they lay down beside me,
I made my confession to them.
They touched both my eyes
and I touched the dew on their hem.
If your life is a leaf that the seasons
tear off and condemn
they will bind you with love that is
graceful and green as a stem.
When I left they were sleeping,
I hope you run into them soon.
Don’t turn on the lights,
you can read their address by the moon.
And you won’t make me jealous
if I hear that they sweetened your night:
We weren’t lovers like that
and besides it would still be all right,
We weren’t lovers like that
and besides it would still be all right.
…for you Uncle Doug
Doug,
You are a very sensitive and wise man…..but then you are your brother Cliff’s brother so how could you be anything else….a special family indeed. I might not always read and comment but when I do read I go away refreshed by what is in your heart….and sometimes laughing. Blessings my friend always.
Steve
Loved the story of Brownie. Can’t always get a quiet moment here in Aus to reply and to say something to encourage you Doug, but I read your thoughts as often as I can. There are 6 little kids here, eldest is 7 in a couple of months, so busy times. I live it moment by moment.
What is the price of love? Would you give all that you own to touch it? Would you build manions for those that you want to feel it, would u die for it, would you know it if it touched you?
awh… thank God.. the price of love is free
love always
The beauty of your life began with you first breath, the truth of your life will end with your last breath, the love of you life will be felt between those two breaths…..trust your first breath.
love always
Mc, says.. the heartbeats of a thousand mice cant be felts by the hunger of a single cat.
IVE TAUGHT HIM BETTER, i hate cats,,
well maybe not this one
THERE is not one single heartbeat of life from the beginning of time to the end of eternity that wont be felt, and wanting to be touched.
LOVE THE TRUTH
LOVE Doug
When i was very young I was treated for rheumatic fever. I dont know a lot about the disease, but i know it causes horrific dreams. Most of the dreams as i recall were of the vertigo kind, the ones that something is sucking you into, something greater then you are, but some of them were of me falling to my death. Theses dreams were not like once a month they were every night. They would begin before i closed my eyes, and they only ended with my Dad holding me in his lap saying , “when i count to three Dougins you will wake”
My DAD taught me that I WAS A GINGERBREAD BOY, a boy that if i was falling off a cliff to my death i would grow wings and fly to safety. My trust in his words has carried though a life time, a father I trusted.
This other father that i now know has told me to believe in a garden of Eden. A beautiful place i can return to, a dream that begins before my eyes are closed, and will end with me in his arms.
I DONT BELIEVE I CAN GROW WINGS AND FLY NOW, AND I DONT BELIEVE I WILL WALK IN A GARDEN OF EDEN, but i trust in my fathers words, and i will wake in the arms of love.
love the truth..
love Doug
Mc says: In his Garden of Eden there will be little rolls of toilet paper, cause hes tired of the taint taste in his mouth as he brings his mice’s to supper.
HES SO STUPID, but hes right
love the truth
The lies in your mind are the taint taste in your heart, wiped clean with the truth of love..
love the truth
love always
How many minute in this life do you have left? How many hours?. How many years? Dose it matter? WHY SHOULD IT MATER? Why shouldn’t it matter?
I BELIEVE THAT GOD KNOWS ALL OF THAT, and whether your an aborted baby or 110 years old God had a purpose for your life, and your suffering in it, or your joy, so i will take what i get and trust that i will sit in his lap saying when i count to three Dougins wake up.
trust the love
love always
There is a world in your mind. A beautiful place of majestic mountains, starry skies, amazing sunsets, oceans caressing your beaches, the kiss of your first love , the touch of your first child, but there is a pantheism of love beyond your imagination.
Fall off your Cliff into your universe of a gingerbread boy.
..see the beauty..
love always
another quote that I really like…
“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it.” – Mother Teresa
love you dad
SARAH, you are the truth of my next breath, you are the blood that pumps my next heartbeat, you are the beauty that makes my sky sparkle, and you are the love that lets me feel heaven..I love you to baby girl.
love Dad
My last thought will be of the ones that read this site and say , BULLSHIT, you bony asses has never been were i have been, God dont feel me, he wouldn’t fuck me around like this. Why should i trust him? Everybody else has screwed me.
Let me tell you why. HES the only one that will love you for all eternity, hes the only one that will show you the peace that you live to know, hes the only one that will let you find the joy that is in your heart, and he is the only one that will love you when your mind and body fails you.
love always
My last thought tonight will be on THE TRUTH OF HUMANLY LOVE.
We all fall in love with someone, and we dance in a honeymoon of bliss. We dont expect the anguish of anger that comes with arguments of ridiculous opinions on worthless position about unreasonable desires to control the thoughts and hearts of the one you love. We dont know how to protect the bliss of the honeymoon of our love, so we give away ourselves to the need of the controller, a controller that thinks you are still in the bliss of love. A control that feeds your mind like gasoline gathering in a cave till there is the final spark.
It seems to be a natural characteristic of mankind to be either a controller or to be controlled, but the heart of man goes beyond the honeymoon bliss, and wants to not feel control, but to feel loved, and more then that to love….
give love a chance
love
MC SAYS; The brilliance of a sunrise can blind you to your next meal.
Dam cat
The sunlight in your life, is in the next moment you feel in your heart.
love the moment
love always
Where dose the darkness come from? As i sit here tonight i think of the things i have talked of before. Ive talked of the garden of Eden, a garden i wish to feel, Ive talked of the garden within you, Ive talked of the degrees between you and the worst man you can think of. Ive talked about fear, and ive talked about love, but mostly i have talked about the truth of the wisdom to know the difference. WHERE is that wisdom that takes you from the darkness to the light of gods love?
What can take a man to a place that he would walk into a room and start killing young unarmed men and women. A man sworn to be a warrior for his country, a man educated to understand the minds of other men, A MAN DETECATED TO THE LOVE OF HIS GOD.
Where dose that kind of darkness come from?
I am going to try and share a truth of what i believe.
The mind of this man was so educated that i wouldn’t be able to carry a civil conversation on with about the psychology of man, and the mind of this man was so embraced in a love of a god of fear that his Adam mind became so swirled in a confusion that he no longer could feel the love of the God he so desperately wanted to know. A confused mind that hung belly side up on the limb of the tree of knowledge. He went to a darkness a swirling vertigo nightmare greater then he was, that allowed his Adam mind to kill over and over with a trust in his God.
As you try to understand the man a fort hood that could do this, also try to understand that you are not that much different from him. ITS ONLY THE DEGREE OF CONFUSION THAT SEPARATES YOU.
The truth i want you to know is that your mind was born from the tree of knowledge, but your heart was filled with the tree of wisdom.. the tree of life, The man i talked of , never felt the love of God, and he killed with the mind of Adam.
Don’t hang upside down on your limb of knowledge, let your feet down and walk with me to the tree of life, and sit by me with the peace and joy you deserve.
love the truth
MC says; TRUST THE SUN TO WARM YOU, AND THE MOON TO GUIDE YOU, AND THE STARS TO DECIEVE YOU, ALL OTHER LIGHT WILL CONFUSE YOU.
dam cat
Go beyond the sun, the moon, and the stars, look with a single eye to the brilliance of a love that began with the beginning of your universe, and will never end, and find a light …………..shining through your darkness.
love always
My last thought will be for the, ME in BG3. How much can you punish someone else to be the ME.When are you worse then the one your punishing? When Do u lose the I am to be the ME?
The degrees of your Adam mind is within you, and the truth of the love of this life began with your first breath.
Do what you got to do BG3, but do it with the truth of love, the i am, not the ME.
DONT BE A PUNISHER
LOVE YOU BG3
uncle Doug
MC SAYS: A lasting love is one that goes beyond the bite on the back of a neck…
stupid dam cat
The beauty of love transcends the human mind to the heart of the universe, and walks hand in hand into the light of eternal bliss.
love always
What kind game is God playing with us? We all have so many different thoughts about what we think we know, but it seems that all the teachings are metaphorical. I mean come on, from the beginning what is real?
Is the garden of Eden real or just another metaphorical lesson?
Yeah know what I dont have a dam clue if it real or just a lesson for me to know his love, but ill take it anyway i can feel it.
There beauty of my journey is i can question every step of it without fear because i walk with a God of love.
love Doug
My mind is aching to understand my own mind, i have lived a life never letting anyone touch me but family. I have keep a separation of all mankind. I have never felt a need of anyone other then family and the heart of the one that touched me 39 years ago.. Ive danced a life of independence of all, including GOD.
I have look in the eyes of man and saw deception, hate, lust, greed, i have danced a life between the lies and the truth. I have watched with a recognising heart the beauty of man and the vile despicable darkness of man.
I have lived a life based on the love I was taught by two people more pure then my mind has ever understood. I HAVE DANCED A LIFETIME WITH A HEART OF LOVE and i have never trusted it. There was always a beauty in me that i never saw, till GOD was felt in my heart.
Thank you , Mom and Dad
trust the love
Love always
MC SAYS: If you lick your ass more then ten times a day it not hygiene you looking for.
dam cat
If you’ve been beaten once , you’ve been beaten a thousand more times then you deserve, but if you have been loved once then you have felt the truth of an eternity.
love always
My last thought will be about the reason for tomorrow. Is it so you can take your kids to school , or go to the grocery, or that you will make some money by going to work.
Your tomorrow my be your last one,and it wont be about if they have a jar of peanut butter in the cupboard or a ride to school. It wont be about if your life insurance was enough, or whether you said i love you before your last breath. It will be about the the truth you will know the second after your last breath.
TRUST YOUR FIRST ONE
love always
The love of life begins with a burning violin, and ends with the kiss of truth, hugged by the wisdom of God.
Love Doug
candied clouds of confusion whispering the rhythm,
by the drummer of life, the reason of truth,
innocent beauty silenced with a scream,
warmed in the cotton blanket of love.
perfect heartbeats of the unborn,
never feeling the dark, beating beating.
caressed by the heart of the unworthy,
touched by the tears of the sun.
reunited in perfect harmony,
sweetened by the beauty of trust.
felt at the moment of birth and death,
held with every breath.
guided by a perfect star,
a light of a single heartbeat of wisdom.
hand held by the candied cloud of an angel,
and a heart touched, by my first son.
Miss my first son.
love always
MC says; There is no differance between God and a tick on your ear, both feed off of you,and are touched by what you give.
dam stupid cat
God is the only truth that will feed you, and he is the only life you need to feel. love always
The swirl of your confusion began with the lost of your innocence. The pain of your heart is the lies of your mind.
The peace, and the joy of the life you deserve is held in your heart.
A truth waiting on you.
love always
The balance between today and eternity, is the wisdom of knowledge. A dance between truth and confusion. Its an understanding of the beauty of pure love. YOU CAN DANCE WITH IT IN A THOSAND SCRIPTURE, or you can feel it in a heartbeat.
love your perfect heart
love Doug
My journey has obviously changed. It has taken a turn from it original purpose, a purpose to know what my brother knew. I have found myself trying to understand my own life. I HOPE YOU DONT MIND THAT I AM A BIT INTO MYSELF RIGHT NOW.
My journey didnt start 7 months ago, it started 60 years ago. I have lived a life believing that i understood man, and myself. I have out witted the witty, I have controled the controllers, I have broken my hand on the brutal, i have held the hand of the meek, I have felt the beauty of love, and i have looked into the lieing eyes of greed, hate, fear, guilt, and saw a mirrored image of myself.
I am becoming weary of looking into my own mind, or the minds of others. I have done it for a lifetime. The knowledge i gained from man seems almost worthless to me now….60 YEARS of believing i understood the mind of man, only to relize it is the heart of christ, the single truth of one man, one GOD, ONE LOVE, ONE TRUTH, a single truth that lets me see the mirrored image of the beauty within me.
I AM LIKEING BEING A BIT INTO MYSELF RIGHT NOW…
Dance me on and on, dance me very tenderly, and dance me very long.
love you bro
Is your days numbered by God? Can the tragedy of tomorrow be averted by a miracle or a pray? Is your life determined by the good or bad of it? WILL YOUR ACTIONS CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
I believe your days are known by God, I believe the tragedy of tomorrow will not be averted by a pray or a miracle, I believe the beauty of your life is determined by the wisdom of good and evil, and your knowledge of that can change your life.
I was once lost in a Georgia swamp, and saved by a single drop of rain giving me a direction to go that lead me to the banks of safety. THAT WAS FORTY YEARS AGO, was that a miracle or just God giving me a few more days to figure things out?
You can spend a lifetime trying to understand the mind of man , or a moment to feel the heartbeat of a perfect process… It is that simple!
Love u bro
MC SAYS: It is better to follow a the cold droppings of a mouse for a lifetime, then to feel the warm drool of a coyote for a moment.
Dam cat
The darkness of your path to your last breath can be lighted with the warmth, peace, and joy of a single moment of truth.
LOVE THE TRUTH
The confusion of my life began with a boy not feeling worthy to be a man. A boy that let a single heartbeat be silenced. A haunting regret that left me feeling less then perfect. A moment in time that I cant change. A punishing moment of truth realized over and over and over, and never forgiving. A veil, festering, guilt that left me living a life feeling unworthy to see the beauty in me.
For the first time in my life I believe that my shortcomings are forgivin, and I am worthy of feeling the beauty in me.
LOVE MY PERFECT STAR
Keep dancing, Doug. You are an inspiration to the search for truth and beauty. That cat is jvst jealous, dont let him tell you what to do.
M@ Perry, GA
I am dancing tonight in the beauty of tomorrows sunrise. I have unwraped the cloak of darkness. I have touched the nakedness of truth, and I have felt the warmth of its love. I HAVE FORGIVEN MYSELF, but more then that i have forgiven all others.
I will dance , M, till the end of time.
love till you cant feel the pain… Doug
Doug, Just to let you know, I’m still reading your stuff and I can relate to some of what you seem to feel. Regret has been a part of my life. I wanted a Hallmark card, Norman Rockwell, fairy tale kind of life. But that’s not what I got. Some of it was not my fault, some of it probably was. Looking back, I can’t really determine any of that. And it doesn’t really matter, I suppose. It is what it is. And I am forgiven. And I am learning to forgive. And I am loved. And I am learning to love. And I am learning not to look back with regret. That’s what matters.
Love to you and yours, As always, Connie
You are told to love your neighbour as yourself. How do you love yourself? When I look into my own mind, I find that I do not love myself by thinking myself a dear old chap or having affectionate feelings. I do not think that I love myself because I am particularly good, but just because I am myself and quite apart from my character. I might detest something which I have done. Nevertheless, I do not cease to love myself. In other words, that definite distinction that Christians make between hating sin and loving the sinner is one that you have been making in your own case since you were born. You dislike what you have done, but you don’t cease to love yourself. You may even think that you ought to be hanged. You may even think that you ought to go to the Police and own up and be hanged. Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. C.S. Lewis
It is a sweet surrender to give in to the truth of your life, isn’t it Cuz.
Love always Doug
On a lighter note, I got to babysit my little Rootbeer the other day. When i got to my daughters home Rootbeer was taking a nappie, and the protocol is to wait for him to wake and he will always begin to talk. He will sit in his little bed and begin a conversation of all that his inocent mind can imagine. Pawpa wasn’t sure of all that he was talking about or to who, but I knew he was sure. How wonderful would it be to return to the beauty of that mind? A mind in perfect harmony synchronized with a pure heart.
WHAT COULD WE IMAGINE? WHAT COULD WE FEEL?
I believe that each of us can wake from our nappie and feel the perfect beauty, and harmony of a synchronized heart of pure love.
A nappie dont sound to bad to pawpa right now…..
Love always
When i was a very young man, in my early 20s I live in a little town of Nashville, Ga. A town that actually had a railroad track that went throw it, and it was the dividing line for the backs and the whites. The gas stations, and the restaurants had separate places for the white man and the black man to get a drink of water or to relieve yourself. The black man would divert his eyes looking down if you past him on the street, if you were walking with your wife he would stop on the sidewalk and turn to the building rather then walk by you. As a northern boy in the early 70s I didn’t understand, and it was almost scary to me what witnessed. I would look ant the black man on the street and offer a nod, and i felt insulted that he would turn his back to me if my wife was with me. I was so naive.
One night very late in the morning me and my buddy ran outta beer. All the white taverns were closed, so we went across them tracks and found a little shack, as we walk into this place we found small room of all black people, and the room was silent, you could hear a pin drop, solemn faces of fear.
I stepped up to a makeshift counter on a dirt floor and ask for some beer, an older man sit it on the counter, and with one word told me the cost. I paid him and walked out in dead silence. As i walk to my car a young black man came out of the darkness between two building and approached me. He seemed desperate, he said his friend was down and he needed help to get him to his home. My friend said we just need to go Doug, but my naivety, and my heart said I should help him. I walked between those buildings with him in the darkness of night and found his friend lying in the grass. I helped him carry his friend down a row of two room shacks till we were at his domicile, as i carried him into this home i saw at least eight other men women and children sprawled in every corner of those rooms.
I placed his friend on a cot, and as i return to my car he walked with me, i believe to protect me.
I never knew his name, but he would be my age now. He was a man that had endured so much more pain, more hardship then my white ass could imagine, but he had a heart of love. Do you think he still remembers me?
Love always
The pain, the hardships, the unreasonable requests, the demands, the seemingly unbearable moments, are just lies in your mind. Do you think you have been tested beyond your strength? What part of your self pity do you own? What part of your dark porch are you going to lie in?
I have seen the beauty of man in the darkness of night, and walked with him into the house of his love.
I have also felt the pain, the hardship, the unreasonable request, the demand, the unbearable moments that Christ endured, and walked with him into the light of the home i built for him in my heart.
Don’t fear the darkness of your night, or the lies in your mind, feel the warmth of of the brilliant sunlight in your heart. Christ walked in the darkness for you, he drank that vile cup of wrath for you, and he is just waiting for you to welcome him into your home, the perfect heart you were born with.
Love Doug
MC SAYS; Its better to choak all night on a hairball, then to purrrr in the ear of a single mouse for a moment.
IM TRYIN , but he is so stupid..
Dam cat
WHEN YOU FEEL THE BEAUTY IN YOUR HEART FOR A MOMENT, YOU WILL FEEL THE BEAUTY OF EVERY HEARTBEAT IN THE UNIVERSE FOR AN ETERNITY…..
love the moment
love Doug
My last thought will be on the river of life. What the hell do you think Noah was thinkin when it started to raining? I mean come on can you imagine the turbulence of the water it would take to cover this earth. He musta felt like he was in the white water of the snake river.
I believe our lives are kinda like that. We roll and tumble, we bob and weave in the turbulence of our lives, until we feel the peace and joy of our heart, and then we float in the calm waters of love.
Hang on, the calm waters are just around the bend…
love the ride
Doug
This is such an incredible journey. As i walk my path sometimes i walk slow almost shuffling my feet with heavy legs, sometimes i dance to music that only i can hear, sometimes i skip with the rhythm of a perfect heartbeat of my Rootbeer, and sometimes I soar with the truth of my perfect star. Sometimes i hold the hand of my family, and feel the beauty of my mother and father, the trust of my brothers, the warmth of aunts, uncles, cousins,gramas, grampas. Sometimes i wrap my arms around the tender hearts of my my beautiful nieces and nephew, and i always walk with the love of my children, and the perfect beauty of a special woman, the love of my life.
The hands i spoke of, that i hold on this journey, are not uncommon to me. They are the hands of the hearts I have lived for, survived for and would die for.
My journey has walked me to places i didn’t expect, and it has placed my hand in hands uncommon to me. It has placed my hand in the hand of a perfect star of forgiveness, it has cleansed my mind of the lies with the trust of a brothers spirit, and it has warmed my heart with the truth of a man that waited quietly for me to touch the hand of God, and feel the beauty in me.
YOU TO CAN FEEL THE UNCOMMON HAND OF LOVE..
Its in your next shuffle, your next skip, your next dance, and always in your next heartbeat.
Your journey began with your first heartbeat and the truth of it is in your next one. He is waiting quietly for you to take his hand and skip, dance, or shuffle with him into the light of peace, joy and a love of all eternity. A light you have deserved from your first breath.
Anybody else wanta dance?
Love Doug
MC SAYS: Its better to send a thousand invitations to mice’s for supper, then to invite one coyote to a pray meeting.
dam his bony ass
Ya gotta love that Dam cat
The flutter of a million butterfly wings and the twinkle of a billion stars, are like a drop of rain in the ocean to the love in your next heartbeat.
Love Doug
I seem to have lost my path a bit. I feel like I have lost a piece of me since Dad died. I don’t know how to get it back, but I am desperate to find my way back. I almost feel as if Dad is with me at all times, but oh how I wish I could just kiss his cheek. Last night I swore my Dad was talking to me and it freaked me out so bad that I just forced myself to fall asleep. I wish I could just talk to him and hear his voice. The holidays are coming around and I am so mad that he isn’t here to share it with us. When will that anger go away and why do I have to feel so mad? I guess I am angry at myself for not moving forward like the rest of the world. This process as perfect as it may be is extremely difficult.
I always miss where I have been. I always dread where I’m to go. Bliss is this, to just pretend – To make amends and let it go.
My last thought, maybe my very last thought, will be on a down note, but its a truth I need to speak of.
My last thought tonight will be on the HATE OF OUR LIVES. I haven’t hated a lot, but what is a lot? What is too much, and more importantly is there any worthwhile value in any Hate?
I have HATED myself mostly for some justified, or perceived shortcomings in my life. A SINGLE MOMENT IN TIME THAT I FELT I FAIL. I have Hated a grampa for the vile mind that I’m sure he suffered with, and I have Hated a grandma for her tolerance of him.
Both of them are long gone now, and i have chosen to believe in a Christ of limitless love, a God of forgiveness, so with that wisdom how hypocritical would it be of me to forgive my own shortcomings, and not there’s.
I dont think i will ever understand the darkness of the mind of man, and i know im tierd of trying to. I feel I am lucky to have felt the light of Gods love before my last breath. Its a wisdom that the ones i hated now know, as do I.
I believe my brother, my Christ, and my God, hold my Grampa Hazelbaker in arms of love, and i believe his vile mind was cleansed with his last breath.
I am not going to dance a moment more, not one heartbeat more, with any more hate in my heart then I believe Jesus has for me, you, or the HATE OF YOUR LIFE.
Feel the love, with a sweet surrender..
Love always
Mindy, the process can be not only difficult but impossible at times. I think we are here for the experience. It’s hard but God knows the limits of our abilities to handle pain and sadness and he has a good reason for every bad thing.
I know you wont understand this Mindy. You are not dancing in the heart of your father anymore, he is gone, to a beautiful place of truth. A place he and his father has prepared you for. Your mind must go to your own heart, and there you will find him like a cheerleader saving a big bowl of ice cream just for you.
He wants you to dance the rest of your breathing days with the beauty of life that he felt. He will be there with your last breath, as he was with your first one. He will be with you any moment heart heart needs to feel him. YOU CANT BE IN HIS HEART ANYMORE, but he will be in yours forever. He has that little smirky smile right now saying to your heart, “I love you baby, be happy”.
He loved the holidays and we will dance with him in our hearts with the spirit of his beauty.
I love you baby, get outta your mind and into your heart, and we will dance with his bony ass till the break of dawn.
Love Uncle Doug
It is so natural for man to feel pain over the ones they lost, the ones they loved. A devastating almost unbearable grief. A pain that take sometimes year, or a lifetime to live with.
We feel so many emotions over what we lost, from guilt, abandonment, confusion, sadness, unworthiness, loneliness… and even anger. We believe it is not fair, and we are willing to charge God for our pain.
A human emotion of our mind, an innate desire to feel the beauty of the flesh of the life that we knew, the heartbeat that we felt, but the truth is that the ones we cry for have found the beauty we live to know. A beauty I believe is achievable in this lifetime.
Sometimes i think we just need to sit back, take a deep breath, and know the bony asses we miss are sitting in our hearts with a smirky smile waiting on us to feel them, and saying “hey dumb ass , ITS ALL GOOD”
Love you, BG…. i WANTA BOWL OF ICECREAM.. how bout you