What can soften the pain? Is it in the love in your mind that you will be healed? Where do you go to beat the unjust, the unfair, and the anger of it all? I JUST WENT TO THE ANGER OF MY MIND. A place I know to well, and I am empty. I walked in my mind, a dance I trust, and I am as brave as any man, but two years ago I would have never been mad at God, he would have not played in my anger, because he didn’t exist to me, but he is the only thing I know that can soften the pain.
I will probably never feel mankind the way he wants me to, or maybe feel him the way he wants me to, but I will feel my heart till my last heartbeat with the touch of his fingertip.
I have watched baby girls grow to womanhood, and layed my ear to the beat of a mothers heart. I have danced on tree tops with brothers, and held sisters as they cried in the night, I have known his summer moons and his winter nights and danced in both deceit and delight. I have taught more then I have learned, and explained less then I have heard from word I don’t see.
IT IS NOT IN MAN THAT I FOUND THE MONTAIN TOP. But in the God I don’t fear. HE IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS ALL THAT I HAVE EVER LOVED, he is what I can’t see but know. He is what will take the same ass kicking as me, from me, or thee, because he is ME.
Wrap your arms around me God, because I fear you not. Hold me like a brother on a cold and forsaken night, because that is the only love that will show me your light
Brother Doug
PS I love my fuckin music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ye8GLPUVsM

As your right hand hold the hand of your son, my hand is empty of all but the promise. You promised that hand to me, and then you blind me and hold me distant to a light I will see, as my first son is never held by me. YOU TALK OF THE HEAVENS I WILL SEE BUT MY EYES ARE BLINDED BY THE SUN YOU GAVE TO ME. You promise it is in faith, love, and hope that I will hold this righteous hand of your distant PROMISE LAND as I squint in the blind lies of the sons that slither next to me.
You drowned an earth of your children, and blinded a nation, but still send the message “believe in me”, and I wonder why didn’t you take me before I blossomed into a tree? Can you not see that I need not stand to the right hand of thee? I am a father, and I live only for my children, and I will die in that love before I will live in any love that is blind to what I see.
BRING IT ON GOD. I FEAR YOU NOT!
Brother Doug

How can it be that such a sweet sound of life is never heard in the hand, but is seen by me? When will the blinding snow of death of ole Israel unveil the tormenting truth of what is never seen. Why is it that an innocent beat can thunder in your clouds then be stolen with the snatch of a thief’s hand, as broken hearts are pleading to understand? How deep can your darkness be, before I feel the light you promised me, was it not in love you said I will see? Why do you not speak to me? What messenger should I be, as you harvest the spark of life into your celestial mystery? Did you need another angel so much more then me? I am a father such as thee, do you not know that I cry for my children as they stand faithful to you with tear filled eyes that can’t see?
I WILL WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE GOD. You took an angel, and I must believe that he was too special for us to see, but I am blind because of THEE!

I said, “God, I hurt.”
And God said, I know.”

I said, “God, I cry a lot.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you tears.”

I said, “God, I am so depressed.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you Sunshine.”

I said, “God, life is so hard.”
And God said, “That is why I gave you loved ones.”

I said, “God, my loved one died.”
And God said, “So did mine.”

I said, “God, it is such a loss.”
And God said, I saw mine nailed to a cross.”

I said, “God, but your loved one lives.”
And God said, “So does yours.”

I said, “God, where are they now?”
And God said, “Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light.”

I said, “God, it hurts.”
And God said, I know.”

Posted on the wall at the
Oklahoma City bombing site
by K. C. and Myke Kuzmic
Stockton, CA

Then I’m going to tell you that God feels there pain, your pain, my pain. He can hear every whisper of your mind and your heart. He knows the pain the agony of man, as much as he knows the joy and beauty of your heart. He has always known that, and only wanted you to love him as much as he dose you. He wants you to be the same as he is.
All mankind that believes in God, also knows he is powerful enough to make you love him through fear, make you obey him through fear, make you his servant. Many of you have known that kind of love, because you listened to man tell you of a god that doesn’t exist.
TRUE LOVE, doesn’t include hate, or fear, so if God loves, then tell me what God would want me to love him as he dose me if my love includes hate and fear? The answer is none. In as much as there are no men that can MAKE you love them there are no gods that can either.
So, how did we end up the why we are? We had a god that created heaven and earth and man, but gave us free will. ALL HE WOULD HAVE HAD TO DO IS LEAVE THE FREE WILL PART OUT AND WE WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HIS WILL! But we would have not been equal to him. We wouldn’t have been any different from the mule the ox, or this dam cat in my lap.
You ask, “why did he do that”. Because he knew that true love was unconditional. That it could not judge, and it must feel equal to all that it loves otherwise you are just a bird in a cage waiting on his hand to feed you.
You say ” when will he know my love for him?” He will hear it from me, the tree, a heartbeat a thousand miles from thee, he will hear it in the dieing sea, but mostly in the heart you see.
And God said let it be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9SgDoypXcI

always here for you..Doug