Love For A Lifetime – My Book To The World by Cliff Hazelbaker II
I am sitting quietly in my Dad’s office. I am listening intently to the voice of my Father that now only resides in my spirit. I patiently hope for just a whisper, but know that the whispers are gone. I can’t begin to tell you how much I miss and long for his voice, his words, his wisdom… so I won’t, but I will have to admit that today was a difficult day. It was one year ago today that we found out he had cancer and his time on earth was shorter than what we had all hoped for. The pain of that day will forever live in our hearts and I don’t care what anyone says…the pain of his absence will live forever and that I am sure of. My only hope is that we will see his sweet face again someday.
In a moment of weakness Me and my sister Tammy had decided to go into his office and rummage through some of his things which is something that is still very hard to do and of all the days to do it it just so happens that today we stummbled upon a treasure that he had left for us to find!! Dad had started a book! I want so badly to share with the world what he had started, but I can only bring myself to pleasure you with a small part in hopes that one day we could finish his book for him and give the rest to you.
He was an amazing man. He was filled with such great hope and love. He wanted everyone to know how perfect they were and that God loved them unconditionally. He wanted to shout it from the roof top and I think that is where this book came in to play. It was a way for him to shout it out.
I want to share with you his introduction.
INTRODUCTION
I do not know if this book will be of interest to even a single soul, but I am still driven to write it in defense of the power of people dedicated to loving each other for a lifetime. I see so many young people wanting to love, and facing so much negative discouragement from this world in which we live. Someone must let them know that they can face every storm. They can endure every trial. They can suffer all sorts of difficulties, and still remain people of love. And this “Love for a Lifetime” is not dependent on how much money they have, or how successful they are, or what title is in front of their name. “Love for a Lifetime” is the product of realization, decision, dedication, and desire. This book is not only for the young who desire love, but even for those who seem to have lost sight of a life of love. No matter where you are now in your relationship to this powerful word “Love”, stop, and ask yourself the simple question: Is it possible to Love for a lifetime? All that is needed is to start there, and as you move toward that goal you will realize that it is a goal worth working for. You will find an inward peace and happiness that can come only from building a lifelong relationship with the only thing that truly lasts. I was fortunate to witness my parents love each other passionately for a lifetime, revealing to me something more powerful then their love for each other, but the real power was their love for love itself, and to see the glory of that love which could not have been purchased with all the gold in the world. I am also fortunate enough to continue with their example, and I fully expect to love my wife and to be loved by her for my entire lifetime. This book is a “Can Do” book to encourage all my fellow travelers on this earth to make love a priority. Not only in marriage, but also in every relationship you have. It is even possible to love your enemies, because the more you love, the more you want to, and finally there can be no room in your heart, except to love.
At the end of this life when we are at the door of being reborn and we have one foot in this world and the door is opened with the other foot on the other side…we turn and face the tears of those that we are leaving behind and without shedding a tear we are filled with all of the answers we have ever wanted to know and that is that all of the money in the world didn’t matter. None of the knowledge of politics or religion mattered. None of the judgements mattered and we realize in that very glorious moment that the only purpose we had and the only thing that mattered was the knowledge of Love and I truly believe it is the only thing we take with us in the next life.
Hum, i just typed for twenty minutes and deleted it, because i thought you might not understand it, but all it really said was I love you.
So anyway i love you Mindy.
WOW!!!! I am blown away and left wanting more! I miss him, too, so very much. I’m so glad you are still here Mindy and everyone he touched who can continue sharing what he shared in the loving way in which he did it.
Is there more that he has written that you are just now finding? I, for one, would love to read it and you can put me down for a copy and yes, you need to be the one to finish it. I certainly support you in that.
This is just way cool and I thank you so much for sharing. Today was a tough one for me as well for I went to moms to get the last couple of things she wanted me to have and the house was empty except for those things and even though I had been in the house several times since she passed, this day was especially difficult because there was nothing really left that made me know this was my mom and dads house. But, later, on the way home, my husband and I discussed it and he said he did the same thing but then realized they are now in their own mansion, much better, much nicer and no pain and sorrow and only have room for love. I wondered if they remember me and think of me because since I sometimes brought them pain and there is no pain in heaven I’m just not sure but what my husband said was what they remember is the love so of course, they remember and think of you because of how much you loved one another and that made me smile. You make me smile too Mindy.
Thank you so very much for sharing this. I couldn’t sleep and got up and this is where God lead me. Love you very much!
It’s me again. Went back and reread this and this time I could actually hear Cliffs voice very clear in that northern accent
Just wanted to thank you again so very much for sharing this.
Most of you by now have figured out that I have an analytical mind, and that was how I have earned a living most of my life. As a young man I was a trouble shooter of quality control on jet engines ,and then I was a mechanic on all kinds of industrial equipment, finally I was responsible for not just the equipment but for those that operate it, but what my true job was in all these capacities was a problem solver. I was expected to know what the perfect end product was, and to resolve any issues that didn’t result in that perfect end product.
To do that you must first know what the perfect end product is, and then clearly understand all the steps required to achieve the desired end product.
So part of what I have been doing on my journey is to identify what the end product is that I want to attain, such as, peace and happiness in life, or to feel the love of all mankind. Maybe I want to go to heaven, or feel the spiritual nature of all the universe in a spiritual perfection. Then again you might say I simply want to feel Gods love for me, and for him to feel mine for all eternity.
It seems to me that the one thing all of mankind wants is not eternal life, but to be eternally loved… that to me is the ..Z.. in this perfect process from A.., but so many mixtures of gsfrldkcbd ect have confused us for 2000 years.
What if A.. is Gods love for man, and.. bcdefghi…is mans denial… jklmnopqrst.. Christ’s Grace….and…Z…mans love of GOD. With Z = equaling spiritual perfection, everlasting love, equal unconditional and limitless.
As a problem solver I know that Z cant be achieved by building bombs,, by envy anger hate, judgment exclusion greed, because I know A doesn’t include any of that, but I also know that some of that to some extent is in all of mans minds, but the Z you seek will have none of that because the spirit of Gods love is perfect, and that perfect spirit didn’t leave the cross and go to some heaven sky type place it is waiting in your body in your soul in your heart for you to know your Z.
love Doug
Why would JESUS SAY over and over that he was “THE SON OF MAN”? HUM, im one of them to.
I thought he was the son of God, but he flat out says he’s the son of man, so I guess I have to believe that to. SO WHO WAS HIS EARTHLY FATHER? Kind of messes you up with all that virgin birth thing don’t it, well don’t give up on it, but read with a mind that is not controlled by the fear of man.
Matthew 24:27 (New International Version)
27For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.
Matthew 25:31-32 (New International Version)
The Sheep and the Goats
31″When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
Do I need to go on? Well maybe a little.
Mark 14:62 (New International Version)
62″I am,” said Jesus. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”
Wow how can he be the son of man, and the son of God? Bet your preaches got an answer.. do you?
Ok one more, then im gonna say mom liked him best.
John 8:28-29 (New International Version)
28So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. 29The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.”
There’s a lot there to try and understand, but the bottom line is not if, how, but WHEN, you will lift him up as a sheep, and not a goat. We are all goats, but within us is a sheep to know, and we will know it at that time we know that the sacrifice of the son was as great as the father, both the father of man and the son of man.
There aint a pediphile God loving preist that will ever be more then a goat, but everyone can be a sheep.
Love Doug
That was awesome Uncle Doug
I am not a man that has any answers I am not a preacher of the bible.I dont profess to have any truth. I am just a man that is trying to sort the fly eggs from the saw dust, and to do that i have to look at what is my Z, with the knowledge that only A is true, but i believe i can do it without fear, because in my heart is ONLY the A.
AND WITH THAT , you must also know this about me, I ONLY USE THREE PLIES OF TOILET PAPER, never two or four.
love Doug
There is a time for all to spend there year looking for there Z WITHOUT FEAR.
PEACE LOVE
read your bible like its a brand new best seller.
You will find in you dictionaries the difference between insanity, and sanity, but you wont find a word for saner, because man cant think that there is more then his mind can know, and if he choices to think beyond it he must be insane because of course there is nothing beyond our minds.
But then again not one mind knows what the seven thunders will reveal, or what all the mysteries of God have to offer, but still if you think That even some of that wisdom is outside your mind then you must be insane
Even my circle of angels think i am approaching the the membrane of sanity, and some think i have broken through to the unending world of insanity, but i think i am in a in a place man has not acknowledge a word for, and the word is Saner( beyond the lies of man)
I am not crazy kids! I just being honest about the truth of all the fuckin lies youve heard.
Uncle Doug
I wont continue this dance in this form for much longer because i know that it is uncomfortable for some, confusing for others, concerning to most of you, but i made promise, and when i have meet that promise i will again just be your UNCLE DOUG, but until that day dance with me like i am making you hold a grub worm in your hand on Secret Day.
This past year has been my secret day, and i have held many grub worms that i didnt want to. I left the privacy of quiet content man to taste the foul lies of religion, and to seek a God that i never felt a need to know. I danced in the mind, heart and soul of a brother just to see the truth of a brave heart, and i tested the sanity of my mind as i gave up all the secrets of my thoughts. A treasure i held precious for all of my life.
I gave that treasure away not because i wanted anyone to have it, but i knew i couldn’t keep it and meet the promise of my secret day. I couldnt know a brothers treasures and keep mine. What you need to understand is that it dosent bother me that you see me as different baby girls, because that is exactly how i saw my brother, and was willing to sacrifice not just my body, but my mind to know him.
There is much more to my story,much more to my secret day, then just a promise, but all my circle of angels need to know is i am ok.
Love Uncle Doug
Your father always spoke sweet words MINDY, he always spoke of love… hum wonder were that came from? The love that he knew with his last breath was an everlasting love.
The humanistic love. The poetic love. The deeply desired love of man is as fleeting as the snap of your fingers. The artistic have tried to paint it, sing it, sculpture it, and put it in beautiful words, but it as elusive as the fog against the rising sun
I am not saying everlasting love cant be known by man, but i am saying it is only known by spirits that touch hearts, and it is few that truly feel there heart.
This is just my opinion, but i think your Dad began to write a book of (can do) of human love and knew there would be no everlasting ending without spiritual love. He knew that because he had one hand on the Gods heart, and the other on your mothers heart, and if he ever let go of one to hold the other with both hands then he would lose one forever.
Doug
“I won’t continue this dance in this form for much longer because I know that it is uncomfortable for some, confusing for others, concerning to most of you, but I made a promise, and when I have met that promise I will again just be your UNCLE DOUG, but until that day dance with me like I am making you hold a grub worm in your hand on Secret Day.” ~ Doug
Doug,
I don’t know what your promise is or to who you promised what, but I need you to know that YES, sometimes I personally am confused, scared, motivated and excited by your thoughts, but I want to dance with you always because through it all you will always be my Dad’s big Brother and my Uncle Doug and an amazing man with an amazing story. This part of you is just new to me and so many others. It is a side of you we are just now being pleasured with and sometimes it makes me wish my Dad were here to read your words. We would have had a great time discussing them together
My hope is that you will always be dancing… and I will always dance with you and I will do my very best dancing while holding the grub worm. Holding the grub worm at first will naturally be frightening because I have never held one and I am afraid it is going to eat me, but I trust that you won’t let it hurt me
Just don’t ask me to hold a snake…that will never
happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mindy, I think you and my other city cousins should of spent a lil more time in the country!!! Never held a grub worm and wont hold a snake??? I think this baby cousin is going to have to be in charge of this next secret day! LOVE YA
Yeah, I think you are going to have to get a little rough with me coach…I don’t even like earth worms…and hell no I have NEVER held a snake nor will I ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is a grub worm one of those white, fat worms?? I don’t really want to hold any worm to be honest with you, but a snake isn’t a worm so I am not holding one. GOT IT SARAH LOUISE?
Man i was just trippin down that old dust trail of revelation having a good ole time. Had my head in the clouds and BAMM all of the sudden i tripped over a log in my trail that sent me flippin floppin and rolling till i came to a stop in a cloud of trail dust flat on my butt! And i wanted to know where is the spirit of God? As i sit there all dusty and dirty I THOUGHT, “well he is in my heart”!, but then i thought how did he get there??? So here i go again all the way back to Genesis 1:1.
Yah know, it would be easy to walk into a church, and ask someone that question, and within minutes i could walk out with an answer, but id have to miss out on all this knee scrapin ass bustin fun of walkin this old dusty trail, plus i would still be wondering if i need to walk into anther church cause i didnt agree with that answer. So ill just keep trippin along find wrong answers with right ones till God kicks me in the ass with all the true answers.
Love always
OK, where was i at, oh yeah, where is the spirit of God? Well he seems to be hovering over the water of earth, but dang i thought he was in me. So were do i find him? maybe i need to a drink of water,, ill call it holly water, and that will be cool. maybe i need to read on.
I seems that Gods spirit is still hoovering over the water when he creates ADAM and from adam we get eve ( they dont get capital letters with there name cause they did the nasty). Eve decided regardless of what God askin im cookin up an apple pie for supper, and Adam says dam that was tasty, but God says awh guys yah screwed up. Adam say wait a minute it was eves idea, and eve says dont blame me God you put the snake in the garden, but God said there is no blame for your actions there is just the result of them.
Adam suddenly felt a need for britches, because of the thorns poking him in his ass, and Eve said from now on i dont want sex unless you put the campfire out, and we ain’t doing it often cause it results in a lot of pain for me, and Adam says well i dont really care cause it looks like i gotta go to work hunting bears and crap ,and working like a dog from the sweat of my brow, ill be to tired anyway!
Well guys that’s as far as i got on this new trail, but i still think it’ll end with the spirit of Gods love flat dab in the middle of my heart.
Love Doug
The other day my Rootbeer got his little green rubber waders stuck in the mud of an ever flowing spring on the farm. As he reached his tender innocent hands out and said “help me pawpa” i thought you are right where you need to be if you can just remember how perfect you are.
love Pawpa
This song i am going to share with you is about a sister, but it says so much about how i feel about a brother. Don’t be confused because i can tell you the brother i had was one ass kickin man if he needed to be, but he would have been as a sister too. You wouldn’t want to stand between him and what he loved, but you would love to stand within his love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04
I hear you bro, and im doing what i got to do, and dont you worry about me.
Doug
I heard someone say once, ” when did i learn to smell the rain” and i thought yeah me too, but im wondering know when did we forget it.
The beauty of our lives is within us from the moment of our spirit, but it is as fleeting as the snap of your finger, and lost as quickly as the blink of your eye, but gained a thousand times quicker with an explosion of beauty that swirls in the colors of the rainbow.
love Doug
Are you ready to walk through the bible holding the hand of a God of love? Or are you going to continue to cower in the fear of man?
From what i can tell he only wants you to love him, but his love wont mix with all the bullshit and lies all the evil crap that we like. he wont hold any of that agianst you, if you dance with him in your heart, but im not sure he will know you if you dont.
love Doug
But im only in chapter 1
where are you?
I have been dancing here for nearly a year and i have wanted to hear from someone else that says Dam i tripped over my log and im going to start again, but what i believe is that most dont think there is any logs because they think they got it figured out. they either gave up or they said awh crap god loves us all, but most say god loves me.
well, shit… think again.. read again, but this time read with your heart, not with your mind, but what do i know, right.
Doug
I dont know if any of you will find Gods love. I dont know if any of you are even looking, and i dam sure dont know if i have, but i know i made a promise to look. MY PROMISE WILL END SOON, and then i will grieve till my eyes are dried by the son.
love Doug
I dont think there is much distants between you and heaven. I think you need to raise your eyes to earth. But what do i know i trip on logs.
love always
tender release of lingered pain
touched in agonizing love
held in heavens hell, felt by all
silencing the sane
never to be heard again
a brother
in a few minutes april will arrive and i will have many things to celrbrate.
on april 13.. will be rootbeer day
on april 16.. will be Cliffs birthday
on april 19.. will be the day i married the prettiest girl in the world
What day will be most important to me?
love Doug
MY LOVE FOR YOU WAS UNENDING,
I sit breathing as though i am underwater. I have danced till i feel weakened by aching bones of a man much older then i am. I looked beyond what i thought i could see, and to feel what i thought i couldnt know, and i am left breathless.
I promised a promise and i have done my part, but still i walk in dark confusion. I cried for the truth, i screamed for the truth, and i begged for it but still i walk breathless.
There is more for me to know, but i must release a brothers hand to find it, a hand i held in mans world, but i will never feel it again here. Human tears have flowed from my eyes days and nights unending, but i wouldn’t let him go and i was left breathless.
It is time for me to grieve as man dose, and say goodbye as man dose. It is time for me to feel my tears, and whisper my pain away with the beauty of loves deepest breath.
Till we meet again.
There will be a distance between my yesterday and my tomorrow. My tomorrow will have the warm sun. The wiggle and the want. The smile and the smirk. It will hold the hand of the peace i have felt, and touch the new heart i know. It will embrace the sunset with the same love of a sunrise, and walk me in the truth i want. It will remember the puffy smile of Uncle Jack, it will feel my Dad suck his teeth as he thinks, and my uncle Joe with arms open as we pull into his drive, it will hold my grama MABLEL in arms of pure love, and hold tears for a baby cousin that died long before her years, and know the pain of my precious aunt abby, but it will be a tomorrow i can breath in, live in, and truly love in. Others deserve it, as do I.
The truth of grieving is in the heart of loving enough to say goodbye till you touch in the same spirit.
Till we meet again.
I have spent a year wading in the muck of Gods mind, to see the brave eyes of a man, and i am not left empty, but left wanting. i thought i would know the truth of the love i saw, but i dont think you can find it in another mans eyes, IT WAS THERE FOR HIM TO KNOW, and me to find.. if i can.
I know your human minds are saying right Doug, “we all knew that”, but your not hearing me, because you think you know what i looked a year for,and you think you already found it.
I HAVE LISTENED TO ALL THE THINGS, that say most are going to hell to none are, and i did it without fear. I looked only believing in a God of love, and i feel that God.
I dont think he promises us all heaven, i dont think he promised us all everlasting life. I think he promises death to those that dont feel his love, and life to those that do, and he dont give a shit where u find it, what church, what religion. I THINK HE ONLY FEELS YOUR LOVE FOR HIM LIKE HE DOSE FOR ALL OF US THAT CHOISE TO LOVE HIM, and all others will just die, and that’s why he says the gate is narrow because most will play a pretend love for him that he wont know, but what do i know. I can barely spell his name.
Till we meet again.
As i dance this God game i play in my mind and i ask the same questions you do, WHO dose god choose, and why. I didnt know his bony ass a year ago, so was i screwed before that if i died. How bout the guy who died in a car accident at 20 that would have been a preacher if he would have lived. MY ANSWER to that is that our dumb asses dont have a clue, but he knows, and i didnt die a year ago, and the 20 year old God knew his heart also.
Some off you are saying he chooses all of us Doug, and i am not committed to that belief.
till we meet again
MC says: a Coyote will seek the meek, but cower to the smallest amount of courage.
Will the FDA allow you to make baloney out of a cat ?
Dam cat
THERE IS A QUESTION IN MY MIND, are we born the way we are or die the way we are?
Doug
I have waited a year for any answers, i have provoked you, insulted you, embarrassed you, intimidated you demeaned you, and i bared my soul for you.
I have begged you, pleaded with you, i have loved you, held you, i have touched you, and was left alone.
At the end of my year i knew i was man, i was good,, as i was before my year.
i walked in silence .
Doug
I wasn’t going to comment tonight out of respect for such a great religious day for many, but to me it was just a day, an opportunity, a time to hold, hug, kiss, the ones i love. There is a difference in this day for me then there would have been a year ago or two years ago, or 40 years ago.
The differance in this day and a year ago is the warmth i felt by my family was no more sweet then the warmth that i feel for all that want to be loved, all that where hungry, tired, scared, and alone today.
What i know now is that if the dirtiest hungriest, most deprived tattered worn and beaten man in the world wondered in to the backyard of my world, my ROOTBEER WOULD GIVE HIM A HUG, AND SAY I LOVE YOU, IF PAPAW, GRANDMA MOMMY DADDY would let him.
We dont know how to give our babies the knowledge they need to survive in mans world, and to also feel the heart of God, so we will put them in a church that will show them the scriptures to love,but also the ones to hate and kill, and be justified by God.
Because of 2000 years of this man made mentality, my Rootbeer will also have to be raised to protect himself against man to survive. PAPAW GRANDMA MOMMY DADDY, would never let anyone harm our Rootbeer. I would kill to protect him, and i would die to do the same, but i shouldn’t have to make that choice, and i only do because we didnt get it 2000 years ago.
Good people walked into thousands of churches today by the billions to pray to there God, and i think God heard Andy say as we walked to mommy and daddies car “this was a fun day papaw, and I love you”, but i doubt he heard a word the pope said or most anyone else that doesn’t feel the love in Rootbeers heart.
Papaw
I am going to take you to a different place in my mind know. Its a place i have danced with like most of you most of my life. It began with the questions of death and dieing, but now resonates been the questions of life and death.
I wont give you an answer to any of these questions, and i wont take you to a religious, spiritual place but i will ask you to think about the scientific aspect of life.
Babies are born with the purity of life, and with every moment they survive there innocence is held precious, but there is a point in time they began to die( I am talking about the human body of man), there is a point at which the body is fully developed, and regardless of what vitamins, exercise, mans medical cures all will eventually die(the clay shell). We want to think that death is with our last breath, but there is something in me that says that the moment we dont feel the innocence of our heart we are dead, and all those othere years are just the moments of time spent waiting on this clay shell to completely turn to dust.
OK, I LIED, I am going to throw a little spiritual belief into this thought, i dont think we have to lose spiritual innocents (life) (the Roobeer love), but to do it we have to go where man has wall up life, (your heart).
Don’t take me wrong i dont think im there. This old clay shell is dieing, but there is a whisper of truth in me, and it dances beyond the gift of grace, the promise of peace, and softly hears the whisper of God caring me to the car saying it was a fun day Dougie.
love
We all have had our own rootbeers, we were all at one time a rootbeer, and some want to think that we always are in gods heart, and id like to think that to, but something tells me that he feels the pure innocence in us, but is deaf to those that dont feel it in themselves.
I’m not saying he gives a shit about what you screwed up on in your mind or in the screwed up minds of man, he only feels your heart. The innocent part of you that was always pure. The place that 2000 years of lies cant sour.
what im telling you is that there is life and death and in my heart, i wouldn’t think that the pope has any better chance at life then i do, cause only God knows our hearts.
love always
MC SAYS: Man thinks there is a reason not to die, but cats think there is a reason to live.
I’m so tired of this cat.
dam cat
MC is a very smart cat, but he still licks his ass, knowing i have wash clothes, and he dosnt understand that man knows there is a reason to live, and it is to love beyond death, a death his heart wont know, but his mind fears.
love doug
Questions: What are the sources of the knowledge of God? What place do scripture, the witness of the church, and human reason, experience, and imagination have in the knowledge of God?
Just askin”!
Connie, your question seemed simple enough to answer at first glance, but then as I thought about it I began to realize that there isn’t a one size fits all answer. As I considered the sources of the knowledge of God I also had to separate that thought from the acknowledgement of God and the wisdom of God. It would seem to me that the source of knowledge of God for Adam (creation of man) in the garden of Eden would have been very similar to a new born babies knowledge of his mother, he doesn’t have a name for it, or even an understanding of it, but he knows that it offers love nourishment and protection. If I move on to the Adam that knows both good and evil then I believe the source of the knowledge of God was with the words of truth his son delivered to us, a truth that is left in our hearts once we hear his words. Finally I have to consider the last two thousand years, and realize that there is hardly a square inch of Gods earth that man hasn’t touched with his personal belief in what those words of truth are. There isn’t hardly a man on earth that cant pull out of his hip pocket one bible or another that will tell you the truth of God, we all believe we have the source of the knowledge of God, but for me on a more personal level the source of the knowledge of God began with a true acknowledgement of him. This leads me to all the people over the last 2000 years that would have never seen a bible of any kind, the ones that would have live and died and never heard of Jesus but still found ways to worship the spirit of God such as Indians a thousand years ago or Amazon tribes of the jungle, in other words if I was born in a cave lived in a cave and died in a cave then these words from Rom. 1, the beauty of his creation, would be my source of the knowledge of God, and by the way im not all that sure most of my life wasn’t spent feeling this type of source of the knowledge of God, if not all of it.
“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made.” Rom.1:20
Thats my take on your question today Connie , but the days not over.
Love always Doug
You are the first one Connie that has stimulated me on this sight in a long time, not with your question, but that you still have them. One of the things my year has taught me is there is as many that believe they have the answers to all questions as those that say they dont care what the answers are, and maybe both are ok, i dont know, and i dont think its even part of my time here to care, but i can only see what i see, and feel what i feel, and share that.
I love to take a word and walk it through my mind but i dont ever want anyone to think that my end thought is the right thought. I hang my hat on a couple of truths that i believe, one that God loves me, and two that he knows me when i return that love by knowing him, and he dont care which bible i know it in or which flower i see it in, but he knows when i really do.
love Doug
Doug, I hope that I never get too old to ask questions and seek answers and be willing to revise those answers as necessary. God is so big (what an understatement!), that I feel it’s important to remain open to many different sources in our attempts to understand Him and to comprehend His love. My parents set me on this road, and I know that they want me to continue on it as far as it will take me. Though it will mean that I don’t end my life with the same understanding I had when they left me, I am confident that my road will end where they are. In the meantime, I will keep asking and answering questions, revising the answers, and enjoying the journey with those I happen to walk alongside! I do believe that somehow God is guiding me on this journey in a way I can’t fully comprehend and that He is the one who has all the answers.
It is easy to say that the answer to all questions is Love, and that’s true, but exactly what that means is not always completely clear. Sometimes Love calls for gentle affirmation, other times for stern correction. Sometimes it calls for laughter, sometimes for tears. Sometimes we need to be silent, at other times we should speak. None of us gets it right all the time, and when we don’t we sometimes hurt the ones we love the most. So, in a sense it’s true that Love Never Fails, but, being human, sometimes we do fail each other. As far as I know, only one Person ever lived who never failed those He loved. I know I will never see that kind of perfection in my life here on earth, but that’s not really the point. The point is to follow Him and He will lead me, with all my stumbling and bumbling, to that place where Love Never Fails.
Just my thoughts tonight. Blessings to all!
Well said Doug and wonderful question Connie
Love you both
I would love to understand what Jesus was so sorrowful for in the garden of gethsemane. Ive probably read that pray of his 10 times and i cant figure it out. Was he in fear of his pending death, was he sad to leave this earth, or was he dreading the pain his father was going to feel.
I try to understand this stuff by bringing it home, and think as a father, but i cant come close to knowing what my son would be thinking if he knew i expected anything close to this from him to save his sister.
I will keep blistering my mind for answers but i would love to hear your thoughts.
Doug
Maybe there is a clue in these words, He said My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. His soul? Wow, his daddy was overwhelmed that his baby boy was going to die?
Gethsemane
36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.
just a thought
love Doug
I’m not a psychiatrist, but the movie the six faces of Eve is starting to have a new meaning to me.
Doug
Is it the tangle of the twists and turns of religion, or the the twine that binds you. IS IT THE BOLDNESS OF GRACE or the truth of love that confuses you. is it the tomorrow you believe in or today.
You must already know all those answer.
love Doug
Dose your feet walk on the moss of love, or in the muck of a lifetime of confusion? Do you feel solid in the marble of your bible or the strength of dried tears? Do you laugh at the questioners, or question there laughter? Do you miss your father or his son, or do you feel you are one? Do you care?
Doug
my promise is soon complete, his will last forever.
love always
My peace is knowing that my salvation isn’t something I will get but it is something I have been given! I can’t do anything to get it or have it taken away! Jesus gave it to us on that cross for all men!!!!!! It is finished, he said it is finished and that is the truth of love! That is the boldness of GRACE!!!!! I have been with the Mormons, Non instrumental Church of Christ, Church of Christ with instruments, Baptist, and many more only to see that they all have a different truth and they don’t except each other!!!! SAD! With every step I have taken or am taking, it always has something to do with love. I have loved in bad ways and I have loved in very good ways. I know my journey will have many more mistakes in it before I leave this human body but that will NEVER seperate me from God he won’t have it!!!!!!!!!! I don’t even have to believe, he does that for me. It is his belief and not ours anyway. My belief can really suck sometimes but not his because he said I am GOOD, very good. That was what Jesus did. He took my personal performance away and gave me his. I believe that is how we give others peace, the only true peace, the peace with no fear because LOVE cast out ALL fear. I know there is so much I will never understand in my flesh and it is ok. Just get on the boat and go, take what ever happens on this journey and learn to love. I watched Cliff at the end of his journey fly on the wings of love and it was a beautiful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!
How much of this do you believe? A bony ass boy thought it was worth you hearing.
1. Identity Theft – Adam was told he would be like God if he ate of the Tree. When the TRUTH was he already was like God and made in the very image of God. The serpent stole Adams identity. In the same way the serpent sought to steal Jesus’ identity by saying, “IF you are the Son of God then do this or that to prove it.” Satan’s biggest trap is to try and get people to prove something by their actions and beliefs. (Even well meaning Christians and Christian leaders do the same when they tell others that a “good” Christian does this or doesn’t do that) Jesus knew who He was and did not fall to the temptation of proving who He was by His actions and deeds. And why is that? Because of his knowing His Identity before the Father. The Father had already told him at His Baptism that “THIS IS MY SON IN WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED” He was pleased with Jesus before Jesus did ANYTHING! In the same way we must let people know that they are pleasing to the Father before or if they NEVER do anything. And why is He pleased? Because when He looks at us He sees His Son and His Righteousness and not our own. It is the message that is and will set people free.
I HAVE AN OPINION, but i want to hear others.
Doug
You are so beautiful sis.
take what ever happens on this journey and learn to love. I watched Cliff at the end of his journey fly on the wings of love and it was a beautiful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEARN TO LOVE, the one that has always loved you.
Doug
I am lovin you so much tonight Sis.
There is a reason that we have walked 2000 years in the crazies and its because we choose to trust our minds instead of our hearts. We all know that as a newborn the first one that suckles us to the breast, the first one that holds us next to there heart the first one that cradles us in the warmth of love is the one we we seek for a lifetime, but as the purity of that truth is dismissed to the lodgic of the mind we give it to man and look for the love we where born with. We walk away or never walk by, and the love we want is lost to the confustion of a mind that cant feel his heart so we make a truth that is a lie of love.
Doug
Thanks Doug! I love you too!!!!!!!!
I came here a year ago thinking that in the eyes of a braveheart i would see the truth of my heart which i believed was as brave as the braveheart, but i found myself cowing crying begging to have a glimps of truth. I didnt stop even when i knew i wanted to, there was a truth that wouldnt let me. It walked me, dragged me, pushed me and even carried me, and here i am, and you want to know “where are you Doug”.
LOVE ALL OF YOU
doug
In five days i will read books, watch gone with the wind, titanic, till my garden, nap and know that i just live here till i live again.
love always
THERE WILL BE NOTHING FOR ME FOR ME TO THINK OF EXCEPT THE
LOVE I FOUND AFTER ROOTBEER DAY.
Love Uncle Doug
THERE IS A QUESTION IN MY MIND, are we born the way we are or die the way we are?
Doug
We become the way we are because of the way we think. We think we are mortal human beings! What we think and the way we think IS death because it separates us from our real identity which is Christ and our real Father who is spirit and the fact that we are eternal spiritual beings, created IN Christ in the beginning when the Word was spoken!
Continuing to think the way we do means we are what JC described as the DEAD.
BUT, JC made the way to LIFE open for us, just turn from our way of thinking from head-knowing to our heart where He will reveal Himself to you, and life will begin to swallow up death!
What dose God really think about us as humans? Do think he is thinking “I am so proud of them”, “i Gave my son so they would have grace and peace, and with that they have made this earth i love so much into a garden of Eden. I think he thinks we have totally screwed it up, but i also think he knew any one born from woman would.
I have known my whole life that there ain’t a dimes worth of difference between the best of us to the worse, but I did find a difference in us. A difference youll never know in your mind, but it is a difference that is like day and night, like truth and lies, it is a love that goes beyond mans understanding, it dosent demand phony purity, righteousness God fearing law abiding perfectness, because youll never meet that grade, but it dose require that you love god with every beat in your heart, and when you know that, then with one heartbeat at a time you will be born from the only father you ever had.
Job 25
Bildad
1 Then Bildad the Shuhite replied:
2 “Dominion and awe belong to God;
he establishes order in the heights of heaven.
3 Can his forces be numbered?
Upon whom does his light not rise?
4 How then can a man be righteous before God?
How can one born of woman be pure?
5 If even the moon is not bright
and the stars are not pure in his eyes,
6 how much less man, who is but a maggot—
a son of man, who is only a worm!”
He dont care about this clay shell, he sees them as maggots and worms , but he see the spirit within you as precious as all the universe, and your love for him even greater then you can imagine.
Love always
This last comment brings back many memories. I remember when Cliff began to speak of his Father (God) and it pissed me off because i felt a disrespect for his true father, and when he spoke of his brothers that weren’t me or Andy i felt anger and jealousy, but my year has taken me to a place of understanding that all of my human loves are fleeting and there will only be one love that is lasting, and it will be everlasting for all my brothers and sisters that feel it.
Upon whom does his light not rise? (every dam one of us)
feel the light (in your heart)
love Doug
Hold on Doug, our body He does care about! he made it to be his own house, his sanctuary and within it he put his throne. He needs our bodies for through our bodies He will be clearly seen. He FORMED our bodies in our mother’s womb, some to honour and some to dishonour. What he doesn’t care about and in fact doesn’t see, is the way we think! That causes a separation between us, and He calls that Death. That’s why JC said ‘let the dead, bury the dead!’ We only live when we stop thinking from our carnal mind, and turn instead to heart-thinking. There is nothing wrong with our bodies. It is how we view ourselves that causes His handiwork to appear ‘worm-like’, frail, old disease-ridden or handicapped. He doesn’t see us like that, in fact He sees us as perfect and we cannot be altered or changed in any way, because we already are perfect. Our fault is that we see through the eyes that have been opened to good and evil. So what we see, we believe. The spirit within says ‘don’t believe what you see because it’s all passing away, believe in me and you will LIVE.’
Upon whom does his light not rise? (every dam one of us)
feel the light (in your heart)
love Doug
You are beginning to see the true family. When our soul and mind have been reconciled and there is no war going on between what we want to do and what we actually end up doing, then we begin to see the face of God in everybody. Read the story of the reconciliation between the twins, Jacob and Esau. This could only have occurred after prevailing with the spirit, and seeing the light(understanding) dawn into a new day. This story is our life right now. We are the twins, trying to live 2 lives at once and it is impossible.
I know what he said to those that knew him when he was going to the cross and then to the glory. That he was leaving them in the world to send his message so that all could be one, but i think he was talking to the truth in there hearts. A message that only lasted in them as long as there body, but a message that lasted 2000 years in the hearts of all of us. Maybe we are saying the same thing but with different eyes Audrey.
I Believe the sanctuary the throne his home is within us, but the muscle fat bones that surround it mean little to him it is just a vessel for us to hold his love till we know it then to share it the best we can. The ones that use this body may dishonor him today and honor him tomorrow only to dishonor him again untill they feel him in the only home he truly knows our hearts (our spirit) and in that we will share the only truth our pitiful minds can know.
love Doug
I know you dance Audrey on a different level then i do, but we will both be at the same wedding.
love you
There is only one level Doug and you’ve found it. It’s called ETERNAL LIFE – nobody having found this ‘level’ is ahead of the other, but we DO need to encourage each other and be truthful to what we see that is preventing us from moving on. We do need to keep moving! That shows we are alive to the spirit! Yes, the bridegroom is making the preparations even now. Up to us to keep our lamps filled with oil, encouraging each other as we go!
I am going to miss my silent dance with you. This has been a place of growth for me. It has hurt like the sting of a bee but also offered love like the arms of a mother.
I want to say to all of you that I love the way you have allowed me to dance my crazy dance. It was something i needed to do, but didnt want to do, but glad i did do.
I tried to cradle my BGs, and protect my family’s broken heart. I tried to know the meaning of my own mortality, and to feel the truth of a brothers eyes. I wanted to dance to the end of the universe with you, and feel the explosion of truth i knew i saw, and i am not left empty.
I found more then i expected, maybe more then i can handle, but its what he saw, and it is the beauty of a love never seen in mans mind. I will tell you i started this journey without fear, and i still have none, but i also started it thinking i knew love, and now i do.
I wont dance on my brothers grave, i wont weep on Rootbeer day, and i wont cry on my wedding anniversary. I will do what i need to do, what i haven’t done.
I love you all so much.
love Doug
For some reason, in reading the last few entries, I am reminded of Thomas (the one in the Bible, not my husband) and how he doubted and how that was okay with Jesus. To me, that says that any level of faith is just as “good” as any other. For most of my life, I have felt it important to try to have a strong faith, to think deeply and encourage others to do the same. I am learning that it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter – strong or weak, deep or shallow – we’re all on the same level with God. That ties in with what Audrey said, “there is only one level.” It takes the pressure off to realize this. As Audrey said, “we still need to encourage each other and be truthful to what we see that is preventing us from moving on,” but growth can happen without a lot of stress and strain. Maybe I’m just getting old and tired!
Connie, you’re a gem – you don’t sound old and tired to me! I love the vibrancy in your writing. You are open-hearted. That’s what JC asked us to be – just like little children. This is the only way to find the depths of truth in our hearts where the SEED has been planted.
I should have prepared something on the eve of Rootbeer day, but I decided that if I had nothing to say then you had nothing you needed to hear. I have felt the hearts of man try and know the heart of God and I seen them build there walls against the evil of man. Wall that extent to the heavens of there minds, walls the only let them see to the sky to the depth of there lies. Walls that can’t see the beauty beneath there eyes. Wall that can’t see the beauty around them because they can only look up to a fog of blue sky. Wall that leave them alone and in fear.
I would love to leave you tonight with beautiful words of a precious man to me that walked this earth, but it would be like kicking him in the stomach after he died for me. He would much more think that I would share with you the love of God that he shared with me then to think my last words of him was about his bony ass.
Many of you think that IT IS FINISHED,is the last words you need to hear, and you stopped hearing with those words, but it is only the beginning. Your preachers, your teachers, your mind and there lies have left you there, but the eyes of a brother told me there is more. There were no liars in my dance, no influence, no walls, and just another bony ass brother with a heart that never trusted his mind more then his heart.
It is easy to walk in the security of mans lies, it is easy to take them and make them fit your need, manipulate them from the walls around you till they fit your walls, but you still look up to an empty lie, but in a blink of your eye you can crumble all those walls by never looking up again , just lower your eyes and look within you to the Christ that has always been there for you to dance with, and say fuck all mans mind game lies.
You say, easy for you to say Doug, and I will tell you it has been the hardest thing in my life to say, but I heard it from a Braveheart.
Love Doug
MC is asking to have the last word. He say he also has a braveheart. I have never let him have the last word but i know he also has a heart that never felt fear so will allow it.
MC SAYS: man feels a whisper in the wind and wants to own it, man feels a tenderness of springs new growth want to squeeze it, man hears the babble of a brook and wants to dam it till he owns it, but cat wants to walk in the wind, hear the tender leaves and taste the love of the brook, but God loves my master more, and i wonder why.
can you commit a cat if you prove they took kibbles and bits laced with LSD?
Dam cat
The Bother in me will speak now.
The part of me that slept in the same bed with a brother, the part of me that rolled like puppies on the lawn with a brother, the part of me that has held a brothers hand will speak now.
I like my brother stood against the wrong, i like my brother looked for love, i like my brother held family close, i like my brother trusted truth, i like my brother defied lies, i like my brother believed in man, i like my brother seeks love, i like my brother was blinded to hate, i like my brother believed in a gingerbread boy.
IT WAS A DANCE ALL MEN SHOULD FEEL, A LOVE ALL HEARTS DO FEEL.
I love you, Lishy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=manxPVTLth8
doug