BoldGrace

On they way to work the other day I came to a four way stop on a country road I travel every day. In the center of that four way stop was a dead or dieing blue bird. Its partner was right there with it, hopping around it like a fearless protector of what it loved. I’m sitting in a 4000 pound car, motor running, within feet of this precious little blue bird. It refused to abandon its partner. As easily as I could gave as wide a birth as possible to them as I traveled by. I looked in my rearview mirror and the little protector was still standing solid beside its mate.

I realize that psychologist, psychiatrist and sociologist will tell you, that until you love yourself you can’t love anyone else, but what if that is a bit askew and the truth is you can’t love anyone else, until you know you’re loved. We as intellectual human beings want to believe that we are capable of understanding and comprehending the wisdom of a GOD that created earth, but I truly believe we are barely a moment ahead of the bluebird. I know that the bluebird is ruled by instinct(created by God) and I also know that we were given that instinct plus the ability to understand it. It is a perfect process, trust in your instinct to know that you are loved.

This meant a great deal to Colleen and she wanted to share it with all of you.

I continue to pray for you and your family. When I lost my daughter at an early age, I found the daily devotional "Streams in the Desert" to be a constant source of comfort and hope to me. Please let me know if I can send you one. It was a real moment of submission for me to acknowledge that "God is God, and I am not". I literally heard the voice of God convict me after many, many days of tears and the same monotonous unanswered question, "Why,God, Why"? God’s spirit spoke to me, commanding me to answer the question:"Am I God". My somewhat begrudged but humbled answer was: "Yes, Lord". His next question: "Am I Good"? My even more humbled answer: "Yes, Lord". And the final declaration from Him: "Then Praise Me anyway"! And so I have. I always cry even today when raising my hands to Him to sing the verse to that song: "Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be His name, Jesus. …He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, My heart will choose to say, Blessed be His name…" That was a real turning point in my life, as I am sure this will be for you and your family some way, some how. During our time of grief and seeking God, my husband had a similar experience, where he heard God’s voice say to him, "I know how you feel, I lost My Son". I am so thankful we serve a risen Savior who knows how we feel. I am so grateful to God for the refining by fire he has done in me, and I pray that you will experience that eventually as well. I thank you SO MUCH that your email to all of us at ACP demonstrates the grace and hope that can ONLY be found in Christ Jesus. Thank you for being a witness to those who do not know Him. May God Bless you and your family abundantly and I pray for you to feel loved, comforted, peaceful and assured that you and Caitlin will be together again for all eternity.

Carol

This past year I had the privelage of meeting and gaining a very special friend named Cliff. He worked in the same department as me and no matter how hectic our days got, he ALWAYS had a smile on his face and a kind word to offer. He was always the person to encourage us at the beginnig of our shift to make the best out of the day (when most of us just wanted to go home and crawl back in bed), and he always was waiting for us at the time clock at the end of the day…giving us high-fives and letting us know how hard we worked and what a good job we all did!!! In my eyes, he was a father figure that I never had.

Just when my moods seemed heavy and an attitude would begin to set in….here came Cliff jumping from around a corner (literally!!) with a big smile on his face singing, "We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!" As most of you know, Im pretty short :), and this was his way of reminding me of that fact and making me laugh…..resulting in an instant uplift in my spirit!! I was his favorite "munchkin" at work and he always made me feel loved and appreciated.

A couple of months ago, I received word from a co-worker that Cliff was ill. At first I didnt think much about it. I knew that he had been having some pretty bad heachaches, but I just figured that the job was wearing him down. He worked VERY hard, and I often seen him running through the building not only trying to get his work done, but helping all of us ladies out on his way. But, a week later I was informed that he had been admitted into the hospital and they had diagnosed him with brain cancer.

Even the news of this didnt make me think much about it because you see, Cliff was a determined man. This was NOT going to beat him. He was a fighter and although rarely, I KNEW that some people recovered from this sort of thing, and he would be one of those very rare numbers. Last Monday, I was on my floor working when my Vocera (communication device that I have to wear at work…) went off and on the other end whos voice do I hear but Cliff Hazelbakers!! His words were, "Your man’s in the house…just wanted to tell everyone hello and that I love and miss you guys!!"

He was at the hospital with his son and was picking up some meds, so my supervisor allowed us all to come down and see him. When I got to where he was, he was sitting in a wheel chair. I froze, I could not believe how much toll this illness had already taken on him, and reality quickly set in…….But ohhh were his spirits still so strong. He must have been able to tell that my heart was breaking because he looked right at me and said, "come here." I walked over to him and he pulled me towards him and gave me a hug, kissed my cheek, and whispered in my ear, "Dont be sad for me you hear me…..I have accepted this and I am ready! I am not afraid and I dont hurt." I just hugged him back and didnt want to ever let go.

That very moment taught me the truest way possible of being thankful for the breath that I was taking, my heart that I had beating, and the many blessings that God has placed into my life. This man was dying. His time was very limited and at any given moment, he would not be here. Hours were not guaranteed to this man…let alone a tomarrow. The illness was winning, and pretty soon I knew that I would not get the privelage of seeing this man in front of me. It hurt, and I was angry.

I remember asking God, "if you were going to let this man come into my life, and for me to get so attached….why are you taking him away so soon?" God answered that through Cliff eyes because when I looked into them, I heard God speak to me saying, " what has this man taught you?" The answer to that is this: Life is not always perfect, it rarely is. There are going to be times to laugh and celebrate, but there are also going to be times when the best thing to do is drop to your knees and cry. But as my VERY very dear friend Cliff asked me one day, when I was discussing some struggles I was having, he said, "Well muchkin, when you get the chance to sit it out or dance…..are you going to sit it out or dance?"

Thursday, April 16th 2009 at approximately 9:00 a.m. I received word that my dear friend had passed early that morning. My heart literally ripped in two. I was so hurt and felt so much guilt. I hadnt even went to see him at home and there was so much that I wanted him to know!!! I wanted to tell him how so very thankful I was that I had met him and how joyful he had made me. I wanted to tell him that I had made up my mind about that question that he asked me, when life was getting rough….instead of sitting it out….I was going to dance!! He would have been so proud to hear that. But no, I never took the chance to go and tell him, and now he is gone.

I will never ever get to sit in front of him and see the look on his face when I walk into a room….I’ll never get to hear his voice as he belts out our favorite song….from the Wizard of Oz. I was SO VERY ANGRY that I almost couldnt handle that anger. I went back to work after hearing the news and found it very hard to concentrate on my responsibilties. A guilty mood set over me and weighed me down very heavily that day.

At the end of the day, when it was time to clock out, I looked at the line of people from department, and was once again reminded that Cliff wasn’t here. I wouldnt be seeing him in this line, getting any of his high-fives, or listening to him joke around with all of us. But, when the day was done, and when I got to the door that would take me out of the building, the sun hit my face and I could hear Cliff saying, "this day is BEAUTIFUL…..go dance Munchkin!!!" …and I knew that he was home. I will forever love and miss you Cliff Hazelbaker!!!

My beautiful and sweet loving niece has written a post.

I was standing in our creek yesterday, the water rushed over my shoes and down past me-out of sight. I thought about the path that each one of us has in our life here. Like a river or creek being pulled toward the ocean by a force much greater that it is. We are drawn down our path in life yet some try to break this beautiful process by clinging to the banks-it makes the process harder when it could be so smooth. I think about my Uncle Cliff and I know that right now he is not clinging to the banks along the river-he is floating down smoothly. I believe that Cliff said to Mindy "remember, you are being moved through the journey of life by a power you cannot see. Your destination is greatness beyond your comprehension. Your purpose must be your passion for life. And peace is your resting place at the end of the day." Cliff, I believe that we are given glimpses of that power each day. -a bright, warm sun, the infinite sky filled with stars and galaxies far beyond anything we can imagine, even the perfect process we witness as the Earth grows, becomes green, blossoms and then returns as the snow falls and the sky becomes gray. We are that power, we are the rays of the sun, we are universal, we are the Earth’s flower that blooms and then returns home- its spirit freed to find another journey. Although this form returns to the Earth, the energy inside escapes and glows. We will look for you-glowing in the pink sky at the end of our day.

Sometimes a person will comment here on BG and the comment is so WONDERFUL & INSIGHTFUL that it need to be seen as a Front Page Post. The following is from our friend Audrey.

The sign for our age is that a virgin shall be with child. The story of Mary is a picture of us and what is happening to us today. Mary’s name means bitter rebellion. (against the sham and hypocrisy of this world and it’s way of thinking). She was a virgin (we are all virgins because we have not yet birthed our spiritual identity, only our humanity). Mary was betrothed to Joseph (his name means to add or augment). Joseph had a dream and in the dream was a message to Joseph, son of David (well-beloved, loving) not to be fearful because Mary had conceived spiritually and would bear a son whose name would be Jesus (Savior of the world) Immanuel (God with us). Joseph rose from his sleep (he woke up to see with his spiritual eyes), took Mary who rode on a donkey (lacked understanding) to Bethlehem (the house of abundance especially bread). There was no room at the inn (our head type of thinking is unable to‘see’ these spiritual things), but there was a manger (our hearts) surrounded by the animals (our emotions). There Mary began to labor (those mixed emotions and spiritual aches we have) and a boy child ( of the spirit) was born, and she called his name Jesus, the ‘star’ child. He was the ONE who would rule over the house of Jacob (the flesh) forever. There were shepherds, wakeful - keeping watch over their sheep in the night (darkness - no truth). Suddenly the glory of the Lord shone round about them (they became spiritually aware) and the message of the birth of Jesus was given ( they knew who he was and where he was). Wise men (men who have been watching for this sign) came also bearing gifts - gold (spiritual awareness, clear sky) frankincense (purity) and myrrh (sweet smelling oil). These gifts are the feelings that begin to rise up within your heart as you turn from your humanity (worldly thinking) to your heart (your true identity where Truth resides).

THANKS Audrey!

This is one that I will think on a great deal in the coming days and weeks.

Peace

Geo

Jim Palmer (divinenobodies.com), left a comment on the thread which grew from the post, "the post that never ended (a world without options)", that really spoke to me. See if it has the same effect on you…

A popular Bible verse says to, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Romans 12:2
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I’ve never liked the word “repent.” For me, it conjures up images of judgment, condemnation, and fear. Jesus often says in the gospels, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.” For years it was troubling to me that Jesus so often used this word because it smacked of everything that repelled me about religion. But then the Spirit began to open my eyes to its true meaning and place in my journey with God.
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First I realized that Jesus could not have been using the word pointing a finger of condemnation. Jesus said in John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” I discovered the word “repent” (metanoia) actually means a change of mind or having a new mind. The word suggests a radical revision and transformation of our whole mental process. That “change of mind” allows God to take center place in our consciousness, in our awareness, and in our minds.
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You’re getting it if you can imagine Jesus walking into a crowd of hurting, rejected, empty, lonely, fearful, wounded, hopeless people and saying, “God’s kingdom is now within your reach! But you’ll have to undergo a change of heart and mind to grasp it.” Metanoia literally means “beyond the mind.” So it’s an idea of stretching or pushing beyond the boundaries with which we normally think and feel. For me, it has often involved pressing beyond my religious conditioning.
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Initially, Jesus “calling me to repentance” went something like this:
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“God’s kingdom is now within your reach Jim! But grasping it will push you beyond the boundaries of what you normally think and feel about yourself, God, and life. It will even call into question certain religious notions you have learned. You don’t feel deserving of the life, peace, and freedom God wants to give you. Press beyond those feelings Jim. The truth is, God loves you and freely offers all of this and more. Jim, you think and act as if your daily performance and behavior determines your good standing with God. The truth is, there’s nothing you could ever do or not do that would alter your worth, favor, and acceptance to God. Wherever you are now on the journey, you are loved and accepted by God. You feel inadequate to know and understand God and the things of God. Consider this Jim, you have the Spirit within to guide you into all truth. Pay more attention to the ways of a child and you’ll get it. You are a son of God. I was resurrected from the dead within you. When it all works right, you won’t even know where “you” end and “I” begin. It will be like the life you are living is me living in and through you. You tend to think of your separateness from God, I want you to feel and experience your oneness with God. Trust me Jim. You’re just scratching the surface. There’s more to it than you think. I’m always at my work within you. Rest in me.”
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“Metanoia” has been more of a process that an event for me, and has involved changes such as:
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• Associating my deepest feelings with the voice of truth
• Locating the source of life, love, peace, freedom, contentment, goodness, and connectedness within me
• Seeing myself and all people as sons and daughters of God and therefore my brother or sister
• Opening my heart to the spiritual dimension of all of life, regardless of how mundane or ordinary it mat seem through human eyes
• Understanding the significance and relevance of Jesus in terms much greater than I had ever realized before
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I’m sure others will have further comments to add about metanoia. Lately I’ve tended to use the word less and less because it felt like I was making too much of a concept and religion out of it. So, rather than focus on the word or concept I just allow myself to be in tune with the reality the word points to, which is akin to “marching to the beat of a different drummer.”

This post is a FIRST here at Bold Grace. We have never had someone who is not part of the Bold Grace Administration Team post before. But our friend and frequent commenter John T. has asked that we allow him to post some of his thoughts. After discussing it through emails with the team we have agreed to have John T. post the following. As always please remember we at Bold Grace may or may not agree with his writings but we do hope they will cause us all to explore life. With that disclaimer we give you JOHN T…………………………….

Thanks for considering my request. I will try to make this relatively short. I have many ideas to share but I will limit them to my "belief" in our creator and how that relates to my "view" of our existence. I will take a Christian Scriptural viewpoint, but by no means do I think the Bible is the only authority on how we connect and remain aware of the Spirit of God. So here goes

Firstly, I find it fascinating that we as Christians actually feel the need for a SAVIOUR. In fact, doesnt that automatically make us feel like there is something inherently wrong with us? I mean, like really, God created us in his image yet were so messed up that we need to be bailed out. I think when we come from this original viewpoint, there is only one way to go…….DOWN. So with that said I think the early writers of Scripture were trying there best to explain the existence of, as we see it, Good and Evil. How accurate are they? Well we’ll leave that one alone. Maybe another post lol. Personally, I feel that God is Love and that I’m actually OK in the grand scheme of things. Do I have doubts…you bet. Do I sometimes have fears…. you bet. But overall I  intuitively know that I’m OK in the universe."I will put my laws on their mind and write them on their hearts. I will be their god and they will be my people" Hebrews 8:10

So where do I go from here? I have been reading  about Christianity and scripture and there is much that I find not only enlightening but also soothing to my spirit. Many of its words feed my soul and calm me. Does it sometimes confuse the Heck out of me……..lol ain’t that the truth. But overall I see how people through the ages have and still try to connect to their essence. That in itself is wonderful. Many of the  tenets of the Bible help to form great communities. Also many of them can be a divider. I guess it depends on your perspective. Now I know in previous posts I have made mention of repenting and other aspects that the Church espouses. Does the Church really get what they mean, I’m not so sure that they do. My take on many of the practices of the Bible  is that they are actually for training our mind and our spirit to maintaining its connection to the Divine Energy. Repenting and Prayer are just some of those practices. Their purpose is not for creating Guilt and Fear but reverence to the Love energy that God is.(Oh and by the way, I do believe we are an intrinsic part of that energy). The challenge with this world is that of "duality" and some may not see it in quite as positive of a way, hence the idea of Evil.

From my viewpoint, I believe that in this period of my eternal happening, I am here to learn things. Why is that? Well your guess is as good as mine. I just sense that is the truth. Now with that said, it seems the Creator or God has set up a system that seems to have some truths or absolutes to it. Jump off a bridge and gravity takes over. Drink too much alcohol and get a hangover. Regardless of how good it feels before, there are consequences to our actions. Now maybe Sin is not so much the action but more the outcome of that action. I believe in the process of teaching ourselves and our fellow travelers on this ride called Life,  we need to understand better the outcomes of what we do. I believe God said go ahead do whatever you want, but remember the system will give you an outcome, some desirable, some not. The outcomes have nothing to do with the overall Love, but they definitely have something to do with how you experience your Life. Will that experience be Loving or something not so Loving.

As far as my brain understands this existence, it seems very temporary. Yet there is this sense that there is a continuation beyond what I see, touch, taste and experience presently. So with that said I believe that what and how I work this part of my existence will definitely have an effect on the rest of it. What I mean by that is, its important to at least attempt to work the system for outcomes of Love. If I don’t try, it wont sway Gods Love for me overall, but it will get me some outcomes that don’t necessarily make me feel Good or Loving.

I believe the purpose or intent of Jesus was one of showing us how to have community better. Remembering that we are all OK, but also remembering to strive to be more Loving.

So when Cliff made reference to doing things wrong or hurtful and being OK because he’s knows he’s Loved, in my mind, kind of misses the point. I believe the point is about community and understanding that what we do will affect others and Jesus was trying to show us how to limit or change(repent) our beliefs so we don’t continue those behaviors. He cuts us some slack(Grace), yet he still wants us to strive to do actions that have better outcomes.

Love and Best wishes

John Tattersall

PS…To enter the kingdom of the father you must become as a child…………………I got giddy being able to share my viewpoints with you guys…….Thanks again